LAUGH WITH THE PUNJABIS – PART III

I am a Punjabi Sikh by birth; my dad’s side of the family being from the village in Ropar (now Rupnagar) district of Punjab, and my mother’s side of people from village Urapur near Nawanshaher in Punjab.

From the time I was small, I have been exposed to Punjabi humour. About a year ago, I have started a group on Facebook to promote Punjabi humour. The group is called ‘Laugh With The Punjabis’. At the time of writing it has nearly 12000 members.

Why Punjabi jokes and humour? Punjabis are the only people who can not only sportively take a joke on themselves, but, can be expected to tell you two jokes about themselves for every one cracked by you. The community is now counted amongst the most progressive and generous communities in the world. You can always join the group (it is free to men and women, boys and girls of all communities, regions, age and nationalities. I have ensured that none of the humour there is directed against any people. And, you don’t laugh at the Punjabis but laugh with the Punjabis. You have already read seventeen old-time jokes with the flavour of Punjab in ‘Laugh With The Punjabis – Part I’ and ‘Laugh With The Punjabis – Part II’. These are the jokes recounted by me in the group that I am nostalgic about. I used to hear them in my childhood and boyhood days. Lets continue with the old-time jokes.

Old Time Joke #18, Flavour of Punjab
Munda: Chal Jaan, picture dekhan chaliye. Pichhli seats te baithange. Kudi: Je pichhali seats diyan tiktan naa miliyan pher?
Munda: Pher picture dekh lawaange!
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Old Time Joke #19, Flavour of Punjab
Sardar Ujjagar Singh jithe bhi jaanda si, transistor naal rakhda si. Ik din usane, Jalandhar rickshaw layi Railway Station Jaan layi. Uthe usane train layi Amritsar jaan layi aur uthe Ruckshaw layi ghar jaan layi.
All throughout he had his transistor on to listen to songs. In between, the news broadcast came on with the opening sentence, “Yeh aakashwani Jalandhar hai.” Hearing this he hit the rickshaw-puller with his umbrella, “Oye, tin ghante ho gaye; aje Jalandhar hi ghumaayi jaa reha hain?”
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Old Time Joke #20, Flavour of Punjab
Satwant bahut padaayi kar ke Akhkhan (Eyes) da daakter ban gaya. Ik din ik mareez us kol aaya aur usne keha: “Daakter saab; marz da ilaaj dasso…ik ik cheez do do nazar aandi hai”.
Satwant (Thodi der ghoor ke dekhan to baad): “Thuaanu charan nu ehi problem hai?” 10415683_10204235546150166_4235894602786456877_n
Old Time Joke #21, Flavour of Punjab
Kirpal: Bhagwaane, ajj main 5 rupaye bacha laye.
His Wife: Oh kiddan?
Kirpal: Sabere jadd main office jaan waaste bus stop te pahunchaya tanh dekhyaa bus nikal rahi si. Main pichhe pichhe nadhaya aur office pahunch gaya. Bus Ticket de punj rupaye bach gaye.
Wife: Tussi bewakoof ho ji. Sau rupaye bhi bacha sakde si je taxi de pichhe nadh de. 10417530_10204235589071239_2255816959652263015_n

Old Time Joke #22, Flavour of Punjab
Santa and Banta went for a walk and came across a nice open piece of land. They rested there for a little while and started day-dreaming.
Santa: Yaar Bante je zameen saanu mil jaaye tanh aapan ki karaange?
Banta: Aapan ganne lagaawange.
Santa: Oh tanh sab theek hai, per naal waale pind tonh loki aa aa ke todange ate ganne choopange.
Banta: Nahin, aapan fence lagaawange.
Santa: Kai pind waale bade haraami hunde ne, oh fence tapp ke bhi aa jaande ne
Banta: Gall tanh teri theek hai, Sante; chal ohna nu jaake darust karde haan.
So the complete pind of Santa and Banta went and sorted out the neighbouring pind. Black eyed and wounded, the village people asked: Par saada kasoor ki hai?
And Banta replied angrily: Hore choopo ganne!

Old Time Joke #23, Flavour of Punjab

When I was small, in our village, a theft took place. All jewellery, money and costly items were missing.

However, when they searched, they found these items lying wrapped in a sheet next to the wall. Now this was very surprising and various people started giving various theories.

After listening to all theories, Joginder Singh Jagga came up with his own theory:

” Oye main dasadanh haan ki hoya howega. Chor raat nu baarah baje dabe pair aaya howega jadd saare so rahe honge. Usnu pata hona gehna, paisa wagairah kithe paya howega. Usane saara maal gadhari ch bann ke lai jaan di koshish keeti honi. Ehne ch baapu paani peen waste uthaya hona aur khadka hoya howega.”

“Pher usane daudhan di koshish keeti honi. Pehale oh darwaaze di taraf daudhya hona. Pher usnu yaad aaya howega ke darwaaze de kol tanh bebe sutti payi si aur awaaz sun ke uthh gayi howegi. Pher oh kandh (wall) de paase daudhya howega.”

“Kandh uchchi si ate gadhari (bundle) bhaari hona. Usnu hun faisla karna si ke chhlaang maar ke nikal jaawe yaa gadhri (bundle) de naal fadyaa jaaye.”

This was such an absorbing story that at this point they all asked Jagga, “Pher ki hoya howega, Jaggeya?”

And Jagga said, “Hona ki si. Iss hafda thafdi ch gadhri (bundle) andar reh gayi….AUR MAIN BAAHAR”.

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Continue laughing with the Punjabis; more to follow in subsequent posts.

© 2014, Sunbyanyname. All rights reserved.

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