A HUNDRED GHAZALS IN HINDI MOVIES – PART IV

As I brought out in the introduction of ‘A Hundred Ghazals In Hindi Movies – Part I’, ‘A Hundred Ghazals In Hindi Movies – Part II’, and ‘A Hundred Ghazals in Hindi Movies – Part III’, the ghazal is a poetic form consisting of rhyming couplets and a refrain, with each line sharing the same meter. A ghazal may be understood as a poetic expression of both the pain of loss or separation and the beauty of love in spite of that pain. The form is ancient, originating in ancient Arabic poem in Arabia long before the birth of Islam. The term Ghazal is of North African and Middle Eastern origin. Its root term in Arabic is “gh-zl” and is derived from the Arabian panegyric qasida.

The ghazal spread into South Asia in the 12th century due to the influence of Sufi mystics and the courts of the new Islamic Sultanate. Although the ghazal is most prominently a form of Dari poetry and Urdu poetry, today it is found in the poetry of many languages of the Indian sub-continent.

I gave you 18 Ghazals in Part I starting with Shakeel Badayuni‘s Na milata gham to barbaadi ke afsaane kahan jaate, to Rajinder Krishan‘s Jahan Ara ghazal sung by Talat Mahmood: Phir wohi shaam wohi gham wohi tanhaayi hai. In between I packed ghazals by Kaifi Azmi, Sahir Ludhianvi, Bahadur Shah Zafar, Muztar Khairabadi, Hasrat Mohani, Hasrat Jaipuri, Jaan Nisar Akhtar, Majrooh Sultanpuri, and Farooq Qaiser.

I followed it up with another 18 Ghazals in Part II starting with Mohammad Rafi singing Sahir Ludhianvi‘s ghazal Tum ek baar mohabbat ka imtehaan to do for the 1960 movie Babur, to Lata Mangeshkar singing Jaan Nisar Akhtar‘s Aap youn faaslon se guzarte rahe for the 1977 movie Shankar Hussain. In between I gave you ghazals sung by Mubarak Begum, and ghazals of Mirza Ghalib, Raja Mehdi Ali Khan, Majrooh Sultanpuri, Rajinder Krishan, Gulzar, Bashar Nawaz and Mir Taqi Mir.

I followed the second part with another 16 Ghazals in Part III, starting with Talat Mehmood singing Sardar Jafri’s Shaam-e-gham ki kasam, aaj gamgeen hain ham, Aa bhi jaa, aa bhi jaa, aaj mere sanam…. modified by Majrooh Sultanpuri for the 1953 movie Footpath and ending with Lata Mangeshkar singing Sahir Ludhianvi’s Jurm-e-ulfat pe hamen log saza dete hain, Kaise nadaan hain sholon ko hawa dete hain… for the 1963 movie Taj Mahal. In between I gave you three more ghazals by Talat Mehmood, one sung together by Mohammad Rafi and Mahendra Kapoor, a ghazal of Hassan Kamal, a few of Majrooh sultanpuri, one of Anand Bakshi and a few for which the great music director Roshan composed music.

Lets resume our journey into the fascinating world of Ghazals.

Ghazal #53

Mahendra Kapoor

He was born on 9th January 1934 in Amritsar, not too far from the birth place of his guru, guide and mentor Mohammad Rafi.

He made a distinct identity of his own with his smooth silky voice.

He excelled in ghazal singing too.

Mahendra Kapoor
Mahendra Kapoor

I particularly like his rendition of Qamar Jalalabadi’s most famous ghazal: Rafta rafta woh hamare dil ke armaan ho gaye that he sang with Asha Bhosle. The 1966 movie Ham Kahan Jaa Rahe Hain starred Neena and Prakash and had Basant Prakash’s music.

Please enjoy: Rafta rafta woh hamare dil ke armaan ho gaye…

raftaa raftaa vo hamaare dil ke armaa.N ho gae
pahale jaa.N, phir jaan-e-jaa.N
phir jaan-e-jaanaa.N ho gae
raftaa raftaa…

raftaa raftaa vo merii taskii.n kaa saamaa.N ho gae
pahale dil phir dil_rubaa phir dil ke mehamaa.N ho gae
raftaa raftaa…

raftaa raftaa un kii aa.Nkho.n kaa nashaa ba.Dhane lagaa
pahale may phir maikadaa phir may kaa tuufaa.N ho gae
raftaa raftaa …

raftaa raftaa husn nikharaa aur nikharataa hii gayaa
pahale gul phir gul_badan phir gul ba_daamaa.N ho gae
raftaa raftaa …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQg5eddcz1A

Ghazal #54

Mahendra Kapoor

I have given you a few ghazals of Mahendra Kapoor and today I gave you his rendition of Qamar Jalalabadi’s most popular Rafta rafta woh hamaare dil ke armaan ho gaye.

SH Bihari as a lyricist was certainly most under valued lyricist. One composer who brought out the best in him was OP Nayyar. The two of them made 1960 movie Kashmir Ki Kali songs immortal.

SH Bihari - the most under-rated Lyricist
SH Bihari – the most under-rated Lyricist

Here is one of SH Bihari’s ghazals on the music of OP Nayyar for the 1968 movie Kahin Din Kahin Raat. Once again, it has been sung by Mahendra Kapoor and Asha Bhosle.

When the ghazal finally starts in the video, you won’t believe such a lovely ghazal is hidden in the initial fast music.

Please enjoy: Ham pe ilzaam ye kyun hai ki mohabbat ki hai……

( ham pe ilzaam ye kyuu.N hai
ki mohabbat kii hai ) -2
hamane to aapako puujaa hai
ibaadat kii hai
ham pe ilzaam ye kyuu.N hai
ki mohabbat kii hai

( hamane kab aapase maa.Ngaa hai
wafaa_o.n kaa silaa ) -2
( kab sunaa aapane hamase ko_ii
shiqawaa yaa gilaa ) -2
( hamane kab dil ke ta.Dapane kii
shiqaayat kii hai ) -2

hamane to aapako puujaa hai
ibaadat kii hai

( Gam nahii.n isakaa agar aap
hamaare naa huye ) -2
( Gam to ye hai ke tumhaare bhii
tumhaare na huye ) -2
( aapane jinake liye aaj ye
haalat kii hai ) -2

hamane to aapako puujaa hai
ibaadat kii hai
ham pe ilzaam ye kyuu.N hai
ki mohabbat kii hai

Ghazal #55

Shakeel Badayuni

I can never have enough of Shakeel. He wrote exactly how I would like to write, except that I cannot have his mastery over words.

Shakeel Badayuni - the King of Irony
Shakeel Badayuni – the King of Irony

This ghazal from the 1962 movie Son OF India has everything that you look for in a ghazal: superb music by Naushad and excellent singing by Mohammad Rafi and tons of irony since Shakeel was the King of Irony.

Please enjoy: Zindagi aaj mere naam se sharmaati hai…

zindagii aaj mere naam se sharamaatii hai
apane haalaat pe mujhe khud hii ha.Nsii aatii hai
zindagii aaj mere …

ek Gam chain se jiine nahii.n detaa mujhako -2
ek ulajhan hai jo aksar mujhe ta.Dapaatii hai
zindagii aaj mere …

is tarah chho.D ke nikalaa huu.N mai.n apanii ma.nzil
jaise hasarat ko_ii siine se nikal jaatii hai
zindagii aaj mere …

raah chalate hu_e kuchh soch ke ruk jaataa huu.N -2
har qadam par ko_ii bhuulii hu_ii yaad aatii hai
zindagii aaj mere …

Ghazals #56

Shakeel Badayuni

As I said, I can never have enough of Shakeel. He wrote the best songs and the finest ghazals in Hindi movies.

This one is a favourite of mine from the 1962 movie Mulzim and is pictured on Pradeep Kumar and doe eyed Shakeela. Music was composed by Ravi. Mohammad Rafi was the singer.

Please enjoy: Deevana keh me aaj mujhe phir pukaariye…

diivaanaa kah ke aaj mujhe phir pukaari_e
haazir huu.N ko_ii tiir-e-nazar dil pe maari_e
diiwaanaa kah ke …

lag jaa_e aapako naa kisii kii nazar kahii.n -2
ghar jaa ke apane husn kaa sadakaa utaari_e
haazir huu.N ko_ii …

zulfe.n sa.Nvaarane se banegii na ko_ii baat -2
uThi_e kisii gariib kii qismat sa.Nvaari_e
haazir huu.N ko_ii …

ik baar kar hii diiji_e is dil kaa faisalaa -2
rah-rah ke yuu.N nigaah kaa Ka.nzar naa maari_e
haazir huu.N ko_ii …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3d1mQ9zkik

Ghazal #57

Shakeel Badayuni

The 1967 movie Palki starred Rajendra Kumar and Waheeda Rehman and had two beautiful ghazals sung by Mohammad Rafi. One of these I have decided to share with you. It is on Naushad’s music.

Please enjoy: Kal raat zindagi se mulakaat ho gayi….

kal raat zindagii se mulaaqaat ho ga_ii
lab tharatharaa rahe the magar baat ho ga_ii
kal raat zindagii …

ek husn saamane thaa qayaamat ke ruup me.n
ek Kvaab jalvaagar thaa haqiiqat ke ruup me.n
cheharaa vahii gulaab kii ra.ngat li_e hu_e
nazare.n vahii payaam-e-muhabbat li_e hu_e
zulfe.n vahii ki jaise dhu.Ndhalakaa ho shaam kaa
aa.Nkhe.n vahii jin aa.Nkho.n pe dhokhaa ho jaam kaa
kuchh der ko tasallii-e-jazbaat ho ga_ii
lab tharatharaa rahe …

dekhaa use to daaman-e-ruKsaar nam bhii thaa
vallaah usake dil ko kuchh ehasaas-e-Gam bhii thaa
the usakii hasarato.n ke Kazaane luTe hu_e
lab par ta.Dap rahe the fasaane ghuTe hu_e
kaa.NTe chubhe hu_e the sisakatii uma.ng me.n
Duubii hu_ii thii phir bhii vo vafaa_o ke ra.ng me.n
dam bhar ko Katm gardish-e-haalaat ho ga_ii
lab tharatharaa rahe …

e merii ruuh-e-ishq merii jaan-e-shaayarii
dil maanataa nahii.n ki tuu mujhase bichha.D ga_ii
maayuusiyaa.N hai.n phir bhii mere dil ko aas hai
mahasuus ho rahaa hai ke tuu mere paas hai
samajhaa_uu.N kis tarah se dil-e-beqaraar ko
vaapas kahaa.N se laa_uu.N mai.n guzarii bahaar ko
majabuur dil ke saath ba.Dii ghaat ho ga_ii
lab tharatharaa rahe …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3a0TCdSUj4

Ghazal #58

Hasrat Jaipuri

Hasrat Jaipur was born as Iqbal Hussain on 15th April 1922. At the age of 18 he came to Bombay and started his career as a bus conductor at a monthly salary of eleven rupees. At a mushaira in Bombay, he was heard by Prithvi Raj Kapoor who recommended him to his son Raj Kapoor and Raj saab took him for Barsaat recording his first song: Jiya beqraar hai and his second song Chhor gaye baalam.

Hasrat_Jaipuri__Indian_Movie_Lyricist_1

From there started an unbreakable association between Hasrat Jaipuri, Shankar Jaikishen and Raj Kapoor and his singing voice Mukesh. One of their most famous songs Aansu bhari hain yeh jeevan ki raahen is considered the standard bearer of songs in Hindi movies of old.

His title song for the 1968 movie Mere Huzoor was so popular a ghazal that many people would spontaneously sing it everywhere. Mohammad Rafi is the singer.

Please enjoy: Rukh se zara naqaab utha do mere huzoor….

apane rukh pe nigaah karane do
khuubasuurat gunaah karane do
rukh se pardaa haTaao jaan-e-hayaa
aaj dil ko tabaah karane do

rukh se zaraa naqaab uThaa do, mere huzuur
jalvaa phir ek baar dikhaa do, mere huzuur

tum hamasafar mile ho mujhe is hayaat me.n -2
mil jaae chaa.Nd jaise koii suunii raat me.n
jaage tum kahaa.N ye bataa do, mere huzuur
rukh se…

husn-o-jamaal aapakaa shiishe me.n dekh kar -2
madahoshh ho chukaa huu.N mai.n jalavo.n kii raah par
Gar ho sake to hosh me.n laa do, mere huzuur
rukh se…

vo marmarii se haath vo mahakaa huaa badan -2
Takaraayaa mere dil se, muhabbat kaa ek chaman
mere bhii dil kaa phuul khilaa do, mere huzuur
rukh se…
apane rukh pe nigaah karane do
khuubasuurat gunaah karane do
rukh se pardaa haTaao jaan-e-hayaa
aaj dil ko tabaah karane do

rukh se zaraa naqaab uThaa do, mere huzuur
jalvaa phir ek baar dikhaa do, mere huzuur

tum hamasafar mile ho mujhe is hayaat me.n -2
mil jaae chaa.Nd jaise koii suunii raat me.n
jaage tum kahaa.N ye bataa do, mere huzuur
rukh se…

husn-o-jamaal aapakaa shiishe me.n dekh kar -2
madahoshh ho chukaa huu.N mai.n jalavo.n kii raah par
Gar ho sake to hosh me.n laa do, mere huzuur
rukh se…

vo marmarii se haath vo mahakaa huaa badan -2
Takaraayaa mere dil se, muhabbat kaa ek chaman
mere bhii dil kaa phuul khilaa do, mere huzuur
rukh se…

Ghazal #59

Hasrat Jaipuri

He was awarded the Filmfare Best Lyricist award twice: once for his song that became super hit in Andaz: Zindagi ek safar hai suhaana; and the other for Baharon phool barsaayo in Rajendra Kumar movie Suraj. This means that his efforts for Raj Kapoor were never recognised by the Hindi film industry. Even for 1968 movie Mere Huzoor he missed out on getting Best Lyricist award (he wasn’t even nominated!) and the award went to Gulshan Bawra for his Upkaar song: Mere desh ki dharti. Even Anand Bakshi didn’t get that year for his Milan songs and Sahir too didn’t get for Neele gagan ke tale.

Anyway, such is luck.

This ghazal of his is close to my heart. It is from another Raaj Kumar movie (like Mere Huzoor): the 1971 movie Laal Patthar in which Raaj Kumar starred opposite Hema Malini.

Predictably, the ghazal has Shankar Jaikishen’s music and Mohammad Rafi’s voice.

Please enjoy: Unake khayaal aaye to aate chale gaye….

un ke Kayaal aae to aate chale gae
diivaanaa zi.ndagii ko banaate chale gae

jo saa.ns aa rahii hai usii kaa payaam hai
betaabiyo.n ko aur ba.Dhaate chale gae

is dil se aa rahii hai kisii yaar kii sadaa
viiraan meraa dil thaa basaate chale gae

hosh-o-havaas pe mere bijalii sii gir pa.Dii
mastii bharii nazar se pilaa ke chale gae

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjr8Q_i-Kc0

Ghazal #60

Hasrat Jaipuri

This ghazal penned by Hasrat Jaipuri is amongst the best of Mohammad Rafi in Hindi movies. It is from the 1956 movie Raajhath starring Pradeep Kumar and Madhubala. No surprise, again, about the music director. It is Shankar Jaikishen again.

Please enjoy a ghazal very close to my heart: Aaye bahar ban ke lubha kar chale gaye…

aa_e bahaar ban ke lubhaa kar chale ga_e
kyaa raaz thaa jo dil me.n chhupaa kar chale ga_e
aa_e bahaar ban ke …

kahane ko vo hasiin the aa.Nkhe.n thii.n bevafaa
haay aa.Nkhe.n thii.n bevafaa
kahane ko vo hasiin the aa.Nkhe.n thii.n bevafaa
haay
daaman merii nazar se bachaa kar chale ga_e
aa_e bahaar ban ke …

itanaa mujhe bataa_o mere dil kii dha.Dakano.n
haay dil kii dha.Dakano.n
itanaa mujhe bataa_o mere dil kii dha.Dakano.n
haay
vo kaun the jo Kvaab dikhaakar chale ga_e
aa_e bahaar ban ke …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aBsePa-LJU

Ghazal#61

Naqsh Lyallpuri

He was born Jaswant Rai Sharma in Lyallpur (Punjab). His interest in literature, specially Urdu literature, started as a young boy. He became aware of his talent when his school teacher borrowed his notebooks at the end of the year because of the poems he wrote on them.

After Partition, he moved to Lucknow with his family. He moved to Bombay to find a job and ended up working at the Department of Post and Telegraph. He quit soon after thanks to the monotony of job and his keen interest in making a career in Hindi films. His film career began in 1952, when an introduction to film maker Jagdish Sethi led to his first song – “Agar Teri Ankhon Se Ankhen Mila Doon” (“Jaggu”, 1952). However, success eluded him for many years and he sustained himself through B and C grade Hindi films as well as Punjabi films. His first big hit came with “Main To Har Mod Par Tujhko Doonga Sada” (“Chetana”, 1970), almost two decades after his debut in Hindi films.

Naqsh Lyallpuri with Lata Mangeshkar (Pic courtesy: www.hindu.com)
Naqsh Lyallpuri with Lata Mangeshkar (Pic courtesy: www.hindu.com)

Lets start with his most famous ghazal for the 1973 movie Dil Ki Raahen starring Rehana Sultan and Rakesh Pande. Who could have given better music for it than the maestro himself: Madan Mohan. Lata Mangeshkar sang it beautifully.

Please enjoy: Rasmen ulfat ko nibhaayen to nibhaayen kaise….

rasm-e-ulfat ko nibhaae.n to nibhaae.n kaise
har taraf aag hai daaman ko bachaae.n kaise
rasm-e-ulfat ko nibhaae.n…

dil kii raaho.n me.n uThate hai.n jo duniyaa vaale -2
koii kah de ke voh diivaar giraae.n kaise -2
rasm-e-ulfat ko nibhaae.n…

dard me.n Duube hue naGame hazaaro.n hai.n magar -2
saaz-e-dil TuuT gayaa ho to sunaae kaise -2
rasm-e-ulfat ko nibhaae.n…

bojh hotaa jo Gamo.n kaa to uThaa bhii lete -2
zi.ndagii bojh banii ho to uThaae.n kaise -2
rasm-e-ulfat ko nibhaae.n…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxMW7klhq_U

Ghazal #62

Naqsh Lyallpuri

For someone who took more than a decade to establish himself in Hindi movies, Naqsh Lyallpuri wrote some excellent songs and ghazals.

This one is gentle since it has Khaiyyam’s music. As a rare interesting point, it has Sulakshna Pandit’s voice.

Sulakshana Pandit
Sulakshna Pandit

This is from the 1981 movie Ahista Ahista and pictured on Padmini Kolhapur and is very very good.

Please enjoy: Maana teri nazar mein tera pyaar ham nahin….

maanaa terii nazar me.n teraa pyaar ham nahii.n
kaise kahe.n ke tere talabaGaar ham nahii.n

tan ko jaalaake raaKh banaayaa, bichhaa diyaa
lo ab tumhaarii raah me.n diivaar ham nahii.n

sii.nchaa thaa jisako hamane tamanna ke khoon se
chaman me.n us bahaar ke haqadaar ham nahii.n

dhokha diyaa hai khud ko mohabbat ke naam par
ye kis tarah kahe.n ke gunehagaar ham nahi.n

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaiMGBoF4FQ

Ghazal#63

Naqsh Lyallpuri

Here is one of his earliest popular ghazals sung by Asha Bhosle. It is from the 1968 movie Teri Talaash Mein starring Kumkum. Sapan-Jagmohan composed the music for it.

Unfortunately I couldn’t find the original video for it.

Nevertheless, please enjoy: Raaz-e-dil hamase kaho ham to koi gair nahin….

raaz-e-dil ham se kaho ham to ko_ii Gair nahii.n
yuu.N pareshaan na ho ham to ko_ii Gair nahii.n
raaz-e-dil ham se …

mahakii mahakii sii ye tanahaa_ii gilaa karatii hai
Gair tum bhii na raho ham to ko_ii Gair nahii.n
raaz-e-dil ham se …

kisii hamadard ko kuchh dard ba.nTaa lene do
dard tanahaa na saho ham to ko_ii Gair nahii.n
raaz-e-dil ham se …

Ghazal #64

Naqsh Lyallpuri

As I mentioned earlier, for someone who took his time establishing himself, he finally ended up penning some really fine ghazals. This one from 1979 movie Khandaan is a favourite. The movie starred Jumping Jack Jeetu, Bindiya Goswami and Sulakshana Pandit. Music was composed by Khaiyyam and Lata ji sang it.

Please enjoy: Ye mulaqaat ik bahaana hai….

ye mulaaqaat ik bahaanaa hai
pyaar kaa silasilaa puraanaa hai

dha.Dakane dha.Dakano.n me.n kho jaaye.n
dil ko dil ke qariib laanaa hai

Kvaab to kaa.Nch se bhii naazuk hai
TuuTane se inhe.n bachaanaa hai

man meraa pyaar kaa shivaalaa hai
aap ko devataa banaanaa hai

mai.n huu.N apane sanam ke baaho.n me.n
mere qadamo.n tale zamaanaa hai

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCa1-MmF38o

Ghazal #65

Shahryar

Akhlaq Mohammad Khan ‘Shahryar’ (16 June 1936 – 13 February 2012), was an Indian academician, and a doyen of Urdu poetry in India. As a Hindi film lyricist, he is best known for his lyrics in Gaman (1978) and Umrao Jaan (1981) directed by Muzaffar Ali. He retired as the head of Urdu Department at the Aligarh Muslim University, and thereafter he remained sought after name in mushairas or poetic gatherings, and also co-edited the literary magazine Sher-o-Hikmat.

He was awarded the Sahitya Akademi Award in Urdu for Khwab Ka Dar Band Hai (1987), and in 2008 he won the Jnanpith Award, the highest literary award and only the fourth Urdu poet to win the award. He has been widely acknowledged as the finest exponent of modern Urdu poetry.

I start with his ghazals tonight and will continue tomorrow.

This of course is from 1981 movie Umraao Jaan based on the novel by the same name by Mirza Hadi Ruswa (1905). The movie won six Filmfare Award including Best Actress Rekha, Best Music Director Khaiyyam and Best Direction and Best Singer Lata.

However, Shahryar didn’t win any award.

Shahryar (Pic courtesy: www.thewire.in)
Shahryar (Pic courtesy: www.thewire.in)

Nevertheless, the ghazals of this movie are amongst the best in Hindi movies.

Lets start with this one sung by Talat Aziz for Farooq Sheikh.

Please enjoy: Zindagi jab bhi teri bazm mein laati hai hamen…

zi.ndagii jab bhii terii bazm me.n laatii hai hame.n
ye zamii.n chaa.Nd se behatar nazar aatii hai hame.n

surkh phUlo.n se mahak uThatI hai.n dil kI rAhe.n
din Dhale yU.N terI AvAz bulAtI hai hame.n
zi.ndagii …

yAd terI kabhii dastak kabhii saragoshI se
raat ke pichhale pahar roz jagaatI hai hame.n
zi.ndagii …

har mulAqAt kA a.njaam judAI kyU.N hai
ab to har vaqt yahI baat satAtI hai hame.n
zi.ndagii …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82tyHLrjuBo

Ghazal#66

Shahryar

I have enjoyed putting up these Ghazals for you for almost three weeks now.

My idea was to give you the hundred best ghazals in Hindi movies. From last night, some sadness is coming to me now that in another week or ten days it would be over.

Last night I had embarked on the great Urdu poet Shahryar. I had given you his ghazal sung by Talat Aziz for the 1981 movie Umrao Jaan starring Rekha, Farooq Sheikh and Naseeruddin Shah.

Here is another ghazal from the same movie sung by Asha Bhosle on Khaiyam‘s music.

Please enjoy: Justaju jisaki thi us ko to na paaya hamane……

justajuu jisakii thii us ko to na paayaa hamane
is bahaane se magar dekh lii duniyaa hamane

tujhako rusavaa na kiyaa Khud bhii pashemaa.N na huye
ishq kii rasm ko is tarah nibhaayaa hamane

kab milii thii kahaa.N bichha.Dii thii hame.n yaad nahii.n
zi.ndagii tujhako to bas Khvaab me.n dekhaa hamane

ai ‘Ada’ aur sunaaye bhii to kyaa haal apanaa
umr kaa lambaa safar tay kiyaa tanahaa hamane

‘adaa” was taKallus of umraao jaan ‘adaa’ in the film.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMppeXU7Fl4

Ghazal #67

Shahryar

The 1981 movie Umrao Jaan was full of excellent ghazals.

Here is another one put together by the same combine of Shahryar, Khaiyyam and Asha Bhosle.

Please enjoy: In aankhon ki masti ke mastaane hazaaron hain…

in aa.Nkho.n kii mastii ke mastaane hazaaro.n hai.n
in aa.Nkho.n se vaabastaa afasaane hazaaro.n hai.n
in aa.nkho.n…

ik tum hii nahii.n tanhaa, ulafat me.n merii rusavaa
is shahar me.n tum jaise diivaane hazaaro.n hai.n
in aa.Nkho.n…

ik sirf ham hii may ko aa.Nkho.n se pilaate hai.n
kahane ko to duniyaa me.n mayakhaane hazaaro.n hai.n
in aa.Nkho.n…

is shamm-e-farozaa.N ko aa.ndhii se Daraate ho
is shamm-e-farozaa.N ke paravaane hazaaro.n hai.n
in aa.Nkho.n…

Ghazal # 68

Shahryar

The 1981 movie Umrao Jaan’s ghazals not only were very popular but also left you gaping with their excellence of lyrics by Shahryar and music by Khaiyyam.

This was the most popular, sung by Asha Bhosle.

Please enjoy: Dil cheez kyaa hai aap meri jaan leejiye…

dil chiiz kyaa hai, aap merii jaan liijiye
bas ek baar meraa kahaa, maan liijiye

is a.njuman me.n aapako aanaa hai baar baar
diivaar-o-dar ko gaur se pahachaan liijiye

% is the last word naaz?
maanaa ke dosto.n ko nahii.n dostii kaa naaz
lekin ye kyaa ke gair kaa ahasaan liijiye

kahiye to aasamaan ko zamiin par utaar laae.n
mushkil nahii.n hai kuchh bhii agar Thaan liijiye

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60O11sF9_-o

Ghazal # 69

Shahryar

The 1981 movie Umrao Jaan’s ghazals not only were very popular but also left you gaping with their excellence of lyrics by Shahryar and music by Khaiyyam.

Here is another one sung by Asha Bhosle and pictured on Rekha who in the title role won the Best Actress Award.

Please enjoy: Ye kyaa jagah hai dosto, ye kaun sa dyaar hai….

ye kyaa jagah hai dosto.n, ye kaun saa dayaar hai
had-e-nigAh tak jahA.n gubAr hI gubAr hai
ye kyA jagah hai dosto.n

ye kis mukaam par hayaat, mujhako leke aa gaI
na bas khushI pe kahA.n, na Gam pe ikhtiyaar hai
ye…

tamAm umr kA hisAb mA.ngatI hai zindagI
mA.ngatI hai zindagI
ye merA dil kahe to kyA, ye khud se sharmasAr hai
ye khud se sharmasAr hai
ye…

bulA rahA kyA koI chilamano.n ke us taraf
chilamano.n ke us taraf
mere liye bhI kyA koI udAs beqarAr hai
udaas beqarAr hai
ye…

(A nazm not in the song, but is there in the movie)
na jisakI shakal hai koI, na jisakA naam hai koI
ik aisI shai kA kyo.n hame.n azal se intazaar hai
ye…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moJUfnqRqZE

That brings us to the end of Part IV of A Hundred Ghazals in Hindi Movies. We have had a total of 69 ghazals so far.

Please let me know in the comments below if some ghazal of yours should appear in the Top 100. I shall try to accommodate. Only, please remember two things: One, there are still two more parts to go with a total of 31 ghazals. And, secondly, these are not the best ghazals in all fora; these are only considered the best that appeared in Hindi movies.

THE BEST FUNNY SONGS IN HINDI MOVIES

I have a Facebook Group called Yaad Kiya Dil Ne. It is group for serious music lovers who not just relish putting up and listening to songs but also identify these with Lyricists, Music Directors, Singers and Actors who brought/bring the songs to us. The group pays tributes to these four classes of people on their birth and death anniversaries. The group is also interested in sharing knowledge about all aspects of songs including Raagas. The group also has thematic Music Fests at least once in a month.

The name of the group has been derived from the title of a duet between Hemant Kumar and Lata Mangeshkar from the 1953 movie Patita starring Dev Anand and Usha Kiran.

The last music Fest that was held was on the theme: Funny Songs. For the first time we had a unique Fest in which there was no keyword to look for. For the first time we had a Fest wherein every participant was his/her own judge about whether the song was according to the theme, ie, funny.

Just four days prior to the Fest, I put up clarification about what would constitute ‘Funny Song’. Here it is:

“FUNNY SONGS FEST

Guys and gals,

Just want to remind you that the Funny Content of the song is solely your judgment (I am not going to be the judge). You have to convince others as to what you find funny about the song. It can be (and this is not a comprehensive list) some or all of the following:

  1. Lyrics are funny.
  2. The tune is funny.
  3. The situation is funny.
  4. There is unintentional humour/comedy in the song, eg, a buffoon like Manoj Kumar has murdered the seriousness of the song; such as his Zulfon ko hata le chehre se with Sharmila Tagore. P.S. It doesn’t mean all his songs are comic! His Shaheed songs, for example, are classics.
  5. You have a hostel/classroom/school/college/family funny anecdote about the song; eg, whenever we used to bathe on the ship as cadets, someone would sing: Parde mein rehane do parda na uthaao.
  6. It is a fine song but a bozo such as Anil Dhawan looks so funny singing it, eg, Teri galiyon mein na rakhenge kadam.
  7. You can pun on the words and bring out the humour, eg, Aadmi hoon aadmi se pyaar karta hoon!”

From amongst the songs that were put up by my friends and me, I have selected the following as the Top Twelve or Dozen. These twelve are not in any order or ranking.

Funny Song #1

Ek chatur naar karke singaar….

Traditionally, since I only organise the Fests and don’t contest, all the songs that I put up are considered out of contest. The other members give me a concession in that they allow me to put up the song of the cover picture.

However, lately, people have found ways and means to circumvent this concession. Here is one of the ways; and see how beautifully she has done it:

“No this is not Kishor Kumar and neither Padosan but this is the amazing original song from film Jhoola(1941) which was much later sung by the younger brother Kishor Kumar. The choice between Kishor Kumar and this one was anyway taken from me as Kishor’ s song figured in the event poster. But if I had a choice, I would have still posted this only. Frankly this might not be as hilarious as the newer one (but this one is minus the ethnic slur) there is an innocence to Ashok Kumar‘s madness here which Is missing in the later version. This was the time when to act, actors had to sing their own songs. Imagine the scenario where Ashok is given a bucket full of ice n water to pour on himself to come out with the shivery voice required for the song. (I don’t know if that ever happened). See the start of the song. Heroine is watching- Ashok Kumar comes running inside and jumps on the bed – bed breaks, he starts singing, the finger on his cheek, the expression after looking into the hand mirror, not bothered with what he sees about himself in the mirror but goes on singing. Then the bath starts and with it the tempo of the song. The song goes in a hilarity mode. Along with actor/singer, you feel the onslaught of cold cold water too. Ashok Kumar, I think was blessed with a sense of humour that manifested in so many of his songs. Can we forget his amused acting in ‘ Aaiye Meherbaan’?.

‘One man’s meat is another’s poison’ I think the same goes for fun and laughter. Some jokes may make one person to double up laughing while it might only bring a smile or grin or snigger or happiness to another. A collective belly laughing or falling off the couch is a phenomena, I have rarely or may be never witnessed in any Hindi movie that I have seen till date. Amusement yes!

Kavi Pradeep‘s lyrics, Saraswati Devi‘ s composition and Ashok Kumar’s singing/acting does not make me feel hysterically funny but it leaves me feeling jolly good happily satisfied.I felt this one is a true classic and has to be shared on this platform.

ek chatur naar karkar singaar
ek chatur naar karkar singaar
thaade apne dwaar
jiya leke sujaat
ek palak maar
hans mora man leenho
ek chatur naar karkar singaar
ek chandra kiran chanda si baran
main to aaya hoon sanad
tore nek nazar
ek palak maar
hans mora man leenho
ek chatur naar karkar singaar
ek chatur naar karkar singaar
ek chatur naar karkar singaar
ek chatur naar karkar singaar
thaade apne dwaar
jiya leke sujaat
ek palak maar
hans mora man leenho
ek chatur naar karkar singaar
ek chandra kiran chanda si baran
main to aaya hoon sanad
tore nek nazar
ek palak maar
hans mora man leenho
ek chatur naar karkar singaar
ek chatur naar karkar singaar”

As given in the above beautiful description by her, the Padosan song still continues being the most hilarious song in the Hindi movies. But, it is not in Hindi movies that the comedy germinated. There was first (in 1952) a Bengali story by Arun Chowdhury titled Pasher Bari, which was made into a movie by the same name starring Sudhir Mukherjee and Bhanu Bannerjee. Eight years later, it was re-made into a Tamil movie Adutha Veettu Penn starring Anjali Devi, TR Ramachandran and KA Thangavelu. Then came the Hindi version Padosan in 1968. It didn’t stop at that and in 1981, came the telugu version as Pakkinti Ammayi starring Chandra Mohan, Jayasudha, SP Balasubramanyam and K. Chakravarthi. Such is the universal popularity of the theme that in 2003, it was remade in Kannada as Pakkadamane Hudugi starring Raghavendra Rajkumar and Anant Nag.

Nitin Bose (the Director of famous movie Ganga Jamuna) has been credited with the first use of playback singing in Indian films in a Bengali film directed by him in 1935 titled Bhagya Chakra. Later, in the same year, he introduced playback singing in Hindi movie too by the remake of his Bengali film as Dhoop Chhaon. Who would have thought that Mehmood in his 1968 movie Padosan (Lady Neighbour) would have a spoof on playback singing itself.

Sunil Dutt as Bhola doesn’t know singing, let alone classical singing. In the process of wooing his neighbour Bindu (Saira Bano), his friend and mentor Vidyapati (Kishore Kumar) advises him to learn singing so that he, Bhola, could outsmart in singing, Bindu’s current favourite Mehmood as a South Indian classical singing maestro Pillai or Masterji. But, seeing that singing is to Sunil Dutt, what classical dancing was to Dara Singh, Vidyapati now advises him to just stand in the window and lip-sync whilst Vidyapati would sing hidden in the background. Bindu would think that it is Bhola singing. There is thus a dual between Manna Dey singing for Mehmood and Kishore Kumar singing for Sunil Dutt. The funny part also is that Manna Dey was a much better singer of classical songs than Kishore Kumar but in the song and the antics, Kishore Kumar has the better of Mehmood lip-syncing to Manna Dey. With this, Manna Dey’s ignominy of having won from the great Bhimsen Joshi, twelve years ago, in the 1952 movie Basant Bahar, must have been lessened.

The story of the movie, adapted from the original, was written by the great lyricist Rajinder Krishan. He has been credited with some of the best songs of Lata Mangeshkar (the movie has one of them: Sharm aati hai magar). And yet, in this and the other playback spoof song – mere saamne waali khidaki mein – Rajinder Krishan has come up with excellent comical lyrics. It was left to Kishore Kumar and Mehmood to make it into the funniest song in Hindi movies. The whole song is funny but the last part of the dual between Chatur and Ghode is a riot indeed. Kishore Kumar was vastly influenced by his uncle, a classical singer, Dhananjay Banerjee and music director Khemchand Prakash in his acting.

Finally, who can beat Rahul Dev Burman in this superb composition that is a cross between classical and comical, two of the genre’ that RD Burman excelled in with equal ease.

Please enjoy: Ek chatur naar kar ke singaar…..

ek chatur nAr kar ke si.ngAr
mere man ke dvAr ye ghusat jaat
ham marat jaat, are he he he
yak chatur nAr kar ke si.ngAr…

pa re sa, sa sa sa ni dh sa
sa re sa dha dha pa
pa dha sa re sa
sa re ga dha pa

yak chatur nar kar ke si.ngaa… r

ki: ##ummm ## dham
mah: ayyo !
ki: are dham, o dham, o dham dham dham ruk
##umm ## bru – 2
o a aa i ii u U e ai o au a.n a: ##(vowels)##
um nAm nAm nAm nAm nAm nAm
nAm nAm lama lama lama lama la
um bal bal bal bal re,
bal bal bal bal re, bal bal bal bal re
om

ek chatur nAr ba.DI hoshiyAr – 2
apane hI jaal me.n phasat jaat
ham hasat jaat are ho ho ho ho ho !
ek chatur nAr ba.DI hoshiyar

su: tuu kyo.n…
mah: chhI re

kare lAkh lAkh duniyA chaturAI
chhuTTI kar dU.ngA mai.n usakI
abake jo AvAz lagAI
chhuTTI kar dU.ngA, aa aa aa…
tA jum, taka jum, taka num, yaka jum
tak tankidia…

ki: pa.Dh ke botan chIr bi chakkar – 2 (?)
har bud khudi-budi khud kar – 2
chhiTake to rere mon mAkhan – 2
sab chale gaye, sab chale gaye chidamudh chiting chitubud
chitubud gaay, chitubud gaay, chitubud haay haay haay

jA re, jaa re kAre kAgA
kA kA kA kyo.n shor machaaye
us nArI kA dAs nA ban jo
rAh chalat ko rAh bulAe

kaalaa re jaa re jaa re
are nAle me.n jaake tuu mu.Nh dhoke aa
Kaalaa re ga re ga re

mah: ye ga.Daba.D jI
ki: o gA re gA re
mah: ye sur badalA
ki: o gA re gA re
mah: ye hamako maTakA bolA
ki : o gA re gA re
mah: ye sur kidhar hai jI, ye sur…; ye…, ennAyA idhu ##(Tamil)##
yek chatur naar…
am chho.DegA nahii.n jI
yek chatur naar…
am paka.Dake rakhegA jI

ye ghusat jaat
ham marat jaat are aa aa aa

tuu kyA jAne kyA hai nArI
jis tan laage more nainA
usape sArI duniyA vArI

mah: nAch nA jaane, A.ngan te.DhA
Teee.DhA, Te.DhA Te.DhA Te.DhA Te.DhA – 4
naach nA jaane, aa.ngan Te.DhA
Te.DhA Te.DhA Te.DhA Te.DhA – 4
us sa.ng lAge more nainA
abake jo AvAz lagAI

ki: o Te.Dhe!
mah: oy
ki: o ke.De!
mah: o yA
ki: are sIdhe ho jaa re
sIdhe ho jaa re
sIdhe ho jaa
vAh rI cha.ndaniyA, vAh re chakore
rAm banAI ye kaisii jo.DI
kare nachAyA tA tA thaiyyA
tAl pe naache la.nga.DI gho.DI
are dekhI
are dekhI terI chaturAI
mah: ye phir ga.Daba.D
ki: are dekhI terI chaturaaI
mah: phir bhaTakAyA
ki: tujhe suro.n kI samajh nahii.n aaI
tUne korI ghAs hI khAI
are gho.De!
mah: ye gho.DA bolA
ki: o nigo.De!
mah: ye gaalI diyA
ki: are dekhI terI chaturAI
mah: yek chatur naar…
ki: gho.De dekhI terI chaturAI
mah: yek chatur naar…
ki: gho.De dekhI terI chaturAI
mah: yek chatur naar…
ki: ek chatur naar…
ki: ek chatur naar…
mah: ayyo gho.De terI…
ki: are gho.De terI…
mah: kyA re ye gho.DA-chatur, gho.DA-chatur bolA,
yek pe rahanA yA gho.DA bolo yA chatur bolo… gaao
ki: ek chatur naar ba.DI hoshiyaar
apane hI jaal me.n phasat jaat
ek chatur naar! ##(Tune becomes faster here) ##
ba.DI hoshiyArI!
ye ghusat jaat
mah: ham marat jaat, marat jaat ##(Mahmood gets stuck) ##
ye aTak gayaa !!!

ki: sa re ga ma pa, he aa aa…, he … … !!!!

 

Funny Song #2

Pyaar ki aag mein tan badan jal gaya….

This song was put up by a member Evani Leela and if you can see the song without splitting your side, you can win a bit! Here is her original description:

Mehmood Mehmood Mehmod kya style hai baba unke abhinay ka. Jaise nartaki ek ek shabd ko naatya mein dikhaati hai, waise hi Mehmood ek ek shabd ko apne haav bhaavon se abhineet karke dikhate hain ki itne achhe classical geet ka bhi kaise achaar dala jaa sakta hai. And hatsoff to Manna Dey, jinka itna sureela gaayan hai comic flavour mein bhi ki geet ko bhi enjoy karo aur hanste bhi jao. Bachpan mein Manna Dey ke jaisa gaane ki koshish karti thi aur ek ek shabd ko jaise unhone gaaya, gaane ki koshish karti thi aur ghar walon se daant bhi khaati thi.

Mehmood ka chhat par chadhna, rengte hue jaana aur baad mein mooh se dhuan nikaalna, last mein Mohan Choti ko leke naachna aur Dhumal ke saath aankh micholi; each and every moment is so hilarious and fantastic. Main thakti nahin yeh geet dekhte. asha hai aap bhi enjoy karenge.”

During the Fest, whilst I was watching the song, I burst out laughing and kept laughing and my wife was looking at me to find out if I have gone loony! That’s the effect of this song on you. I have seen it at least half a dozen times since then and I am sure you would too.

What a serious number by Manna Dey in a super funny situation….two extremes. Pata nahin chalta roye yaa hanse.

The song is from the 1968 Pramod Chakravorty movie Ziddi starring Joy Mukherjee, Asha Parekh, Mehmood, Shobha Khote, Mohan Choti, Dhumal, Raj Mehra, Sulochana, Ullhas, Madan Puri, Nazima, and Majnu. The scene depicted is of Dhumal (Shobha Khote’s father) deciding to marry off Shobha Khote to someone other than the love of her life Mehmood.

Hasrat Jaipuri, the lyricist, didn’t do a Rajinder Krishan in this song. He maintained the seriousness of the situation of a lover seeing his beloved being married to someone else. The song is solely made funny by Mehmood’s acting, with Shobha Khote, Mohan Choti and Dhumal adding to it. If the first song above had RD Burman’s composition, this one has his father, SD Burman‘s. It requires a lot of imagination as a composer to have a serious number being used in a comical way. But, then, it was SD Burman who composed the comical Ek ladaki bheegi bhaagi si with the same ease as he did the classical Tere bin soone nayan hamaare; the hallmark of a great composer.

Please enjoy: Pyaar ki aag mein tan badan jal gaya…

Dunia banane wale sunle meri kahani
Roye meri mohabbat
Tadpe tadpe meri jawani

Pyar ki aag mein tan badan jal gaya
Pyar ki aag mein tan badan jal gaya
Jane fir kyu jalati hai dunia mujhe
Jane fir kyu jalati hai dunia mujhe
Pyar ki aag mein tan badan jal gaya

Mai to rota firu badlo ki tarah
Thandi aahe bharu paglo ki tarah
Mai to rota firu badlo ki tarah
Are mai to rota firu
Mai to rota firu badlo ki tarah
Thandi aahe bharu paglo ki tarah
Jane fir kyu fir kyu
Jane fir kyu rulati hai dunia mujhe
Pyar ki aag mein tan badan jal gaya
Pyar ki aag mein tan badan jal gaya

Bat jab mai karu muh se nikle dhua
Jal gaya jal gaya mere dil ka jaha
Bat jab mai karu muh se nikle dhua
Bat jab mai karu muh se nikle dhua
Jal gaya jal gaya mere dil ka jaha
Jane fir kyu fir kyu
Jane fir kyu satati hai dunia mujhe
Pyar ki aag mein tan badan jal gaya
Pyar ki aag mein tan badan jal gaya

Ishk mujhko nachata raha hai sada
Kya kya sapne dikhata raha hai sada
Ishk mujhko nachata raha hai sada
Ishk mujhko nachata raha hai sada
Kya kya sapne dikhata raha hai sada
Jane fir kyu fir kyu
Nachati hai dunia mujhe
Pyar ki aag mein tan badan jal gaya
Pyar ki aag mein tan badan jal gaya
Tan badan jal gaya
Tan badan jal gaya.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwb-gjMd_n0

Funny Song #3

Kuve mein kood ke mar jaana yaar tum shaadi mat karna…

Kishore Kumar was to comic singing what Mehmood was to comic acting. However, it was a treat to watch Kishore Kumar acting on his comic songs. I can think of scores of songs by Kishore da which are funny in lyrics, in singing style, in situational comedy and in their message. But, even I have to think hard to come up with funnier lyrics and acting than this song. It is from the 1956 movie Parivar (Family).

Before I go further into the song, I will tell you my own association with the song. I have described this in the latest issue of the Navy Foundation magazine called Quarterdeck in an article called ‘A REAL LIFE PLAY OF INS AGRANI OR NAVY’.

I was asked to prepare a play in Navy’s Leadership establishment called INS Agrani and take it to Cochin to participate in the Southern Naval Command Annual Dramatic Championship. Why me? Because I was the junior most officer there! I roped in another officer and we started searching for a suitable play. With just a week to go for the championship, we hadn’t found a play.

That night, I wrote the script for a three-act-play titled Hamara Drama (Our Drama). Whatever we had done in search and preparation for the play was put in the first two acts. In the last act, Bajwa (my friend whom I had selected to help me) and I were sitting dejected that we still didn’t have a play and that everything had failed. And then yet another brainwave occurred to me and I told him, “Why don’t we present our search for a suitable play and a cast as a play…is mein khushi hai, gham hai, bebasi hai, suspense hai, comedy hai, tragedy hai….aur kahin kahin to paagalpan bhi hai…hahahaha…hahahaha (there is joy in it, sadness in it, helplessness, suspense, comedy, tragedy…and at places, there is madness too)..exactly like our navy life..” The play ended there with a freeze shot.

When we went to Cochin for presenting the play, our hearts sank seeing the plays of other establishments. Each one of them had elaborate sets, cast, background music and other props. We had nothing. But, now, at that late stage could do nothing about it.

Ours was the last play on the second day. Each play was to be one hour’s duration with ten minutes given for changing sets. During our preparation time, Bajwa and I were sitting with the audience in uniform. When the curtain opened, we got up from the audience and performed on stage.

It was a riot. The audience roared with every dialogue. For example, at one stage, I told Bajwa that I could do the famous Rajesh Khanna’s Anand movie dialogue, “Babu moshaye, ye zindagi ek rang manch hai aur ham sabb ismein kaam karne wali kathputliyan; in kathputliyon ki dore ooper waale ke haath mein hai. Kab, kahan, kaise kis kis ko uthana hai ye koi nahin jaanata…ha, ha, ha…ha, ha, ha..(Sir, this life is a stage and we are like puppets on a stage; the strings of these puppets are held by God. Who, where, when would be lifted by Him, no one knows.” And Bajwa asked me on stage, “But, what has this got to do with the naval audience?” And then I told him that we could modify it…and I enacted the modified dialogue:

“Babu moshaye, yeh navy ek rang manch hai aur hum sabb is mein kaam karne waale afsar ya sailor. Ham sabaki dore DOP (Directorate of Personnel) ke haath mein hai. Kabb, kaise, kahan kis kis ka transfer ho jaaye yeh koi nahin jaanata..ha, ha, ha…ha, ha, ha…”

I espied C-in-C and his wife in the front row having side-splitting laughs. It was difficult to proceed from one dialogue to the other throughout the play as the laughter and applause won’t die down. No one could believe we could actually present a play, a humorous take on how we did things in the Navy or for that matter in the armed forces.

The jury was unanimous in voting for Hamara Drama as the Best Play and yours truly as the Best Actor.

I sang this song when the jury was deciding! The audience roared and literally begged the jury to give us all the awards!

The movie has been directed by another great Bengali Asit Sen and has our group’s (Yaad Kiya Dil Ne) heroine Usha Kiran acting opposite Kishore Kumar. The story is by Panchu Mukherji. The story is about a joint family consisting of four brothers, their wives, and their respective children, living under one roof. Some of the brothers are professionals, one a lawyer, a doctor, and others businessmen. They are a happy family, living and sharing each other’s joys and sorrows. Then one day, an argument breaks out over a glass of milk, and the entire family is thrown into chaos, and the only resolution seems to be nothing but dividing the entire property amongst the brothers and their respective families.

After the film was completed and the unit dissolved, according to an interview by the lead actress Usha Kiran, the unit members wept miserably, so strong was the bondage developed between members during the course of the film-making. The entire unit literally lived up to it’s name Parivar, meaning family.

And now, lets glance at who put this song together for Kishore Kumar to perform on the stage? Lyricist is Shailendra! Wow, how can anyone of his emotional set-up write something as funny as this? The composer is Salil da (another Bengali who, like SD Burman and RD Burman above, can give vent to the funny and light-hearted songs). The singer is Kishore himself.

Please enjoy: Kuve mein kood ke mar jaana, yaar tum shaadi mat karna…..

( kuve.n me.n ) -2 kuud ke mar jaanaa
yaar tum shaadii mat karanaa -2
mat karanaa -3
kuve.n me.n kuud ke …

dekhii dillii kii ek la.Dakii jisako dekh tabiiyat pha.Dakii
mukh se aah nikal ga_ii Tha.nDii andar-andar aag sii bha.Dakii
usakaa naam gharaanaa puuchhaa usakaa Thaur-Thikaanaa puuchhaa
apane dil kii uma.nge lekar pahu.Nchaa mai.n usake ba.ngale par -2
jaate hii jhuk ke salaam bajaayaa ##‎daddy## ko dil kaa bayaan sunaayaa
bhole-bhaale ##daddy## bole haa.N haa.N jii -2
haa.N haa.N jii
achchhaa Kyaal hai aapakaa diiji_e mujhe pataa apane baap kaa
aapake baap ko chiTThii ke zari_e bataa duu.Ngaa
jii achchhaa Kyaal hai aapakaa

chaay pilaa_uu.N ke Tha.nDaa ma.ngaa_uu.N oy hoy oy hoy
chaay pilaa_uu.N ke Tha.nDaa ma.ngaa_uu.N
ke muragii ke a.nDe kii bhurajii banaa_uu.N
chaay pilaa_uu.N ke Tha.nDaa ma.ngaa_uu.N
ke a.nDe khilaa_u.N ke bhurajii banaa_uu.N

ha.Ns kar jab vo la.Dakii bolii mere dil pe chal ga_ii golii
mere man ke bataashe TuuTe aakhir maan ga_e prabhu ruuThe
terii jay-jay ho karataar -3
ho terii jay-jay ho karataar ho -3
terii jay-jay ho karataar
are baap re
itane me.n aa gayaa usakaa bhaa_ii zaalim nikalaa ba.Daa hii kasaa_ii
kahane lagaa
mu.Nh aur masuur kii daal ve ( nikal jaa ) -2 yahaa.N se cha.nDaal ke bachche
( usakaa bhaa_ii thaa baaksar bhaarii ) -2 usane kii hamale kii taiyaarii
mai.n to dum ko dabaakar bhaagaa raste me.n bolaa man kaa kaagaa
kyaa kyaa
( kuve.n me.n ) -2 kuud ke mar jaanaa …

Funny Song #4

Munne Ki Amma yeh to bata…..

This song was put up by my sister Manik Chava Lakhkar with the following description:

“Good Morning Friends and now lets start with the Funny Songs Fest. But before that A very Happy Birthday to our active member Anindya …
My first post is from the movie Tum Haseen Mai Jawan. Iss geet ke bol likhe hain Rajinder Krishan ne, sangeet diya hai Shankar Jaikishan ne aur swar diye hai Kishore Kumar and Pankaj ne.

Doston, ek mushkil hai – or rather ek paheli hai – jo geet mujhe funny lagata hai woh agar aap ko funny na lage to?

Khair, I hope aap ko bhi yeh geet Funny lagega. How does one define “Funny Song”? Going by the lyrics or by the picturization or by the situation?
In my opinion a song that make you want to chuckle is a funny song. I am posting one such song here. Let us see the lyrics first:

munne ki amma ye to bata, tere bete ke aba ka naam kya hai
munne ki amma ye to bata, tere bete ke aba ka naam kya hai
sach sach bata tu ham se na chupa, bol gori karta vo kam kya hai
munne ki amma ye to bata, tere bete ke aba ka naam kya hai

fir se ro ro rha hai
bin badal ki barkha hai ye, jane kha se tapka hai ye
bin badal ki barkha hai ye, jane kha se tapka hai ye
kya bin mage hi god bhari, patzdh dali hri hue
kya bin mage hi god bhari, patzdh dali hri hue
dekha rani juthe na aasu bha
munne ki amma ye to bata, tere bete ke abaa ka naam kya hai
munne ki amma ye to bata, tere bete ke abaa ka naam kya hai

rona mat rona mat ro mat chup kar chup kar
besura ye baja ru ru ka, kambakt murbba chu chu ka
besura ye baja ru ru ka, kambakt murbba chu chu ka

bukhe ko dud pila degi, to nahhi si jaan duaa degi
bukhe ko dud pila degi, to nahhi si jaan duaa degi
jhula jhula esko lori suna
munne ki amma ye to bata, tere bitua ke aba ka naam kya hai
are munne ki amma ye to bata, tere bete ke aba ka naam kya hai

me ban gae eski amma ji sadke, to eske aba ban jao
me ban gae eski amma ji, tum eske aba ban jao
tum mard ho tum kurbani do, is dhul ke ful ko apnao
tum mard ho tum kurbani do, is dhul ke ful ko apnao
nakhare na kar ese duddu pila
munne ki amma ye to bata, tere bitua ke abua ka naam kya hai
munne ki amma ye to bata, tere bete ke aba ka naam kya hai
sach sach bata tu ham se na chupa, bol gori karta vo kam kya hai
munne ki amma ye to bata, tere bete ke aba ka naam kya hai
me marugi

If you have by now gone through the lyrics, I am sure you are smiling. Go through the video and you will laugh out loud… LOL…

This song is picturized on a Ship as the hero Sunil (Dharmendra) is a Naval Officer and so my friend Raj Dutta, Jaswant Singh Lagwalji and Ravinder PS Ravi bhaiyya will connect immediately with the picturisation. Rajendra Nath and Dharmendra are seen on screen with other cadets. Making merry and singing and laughing. The actions of Dharmendra and Rajendra Nath and their expressions qualify this song to be a part of Funny Songs Fest.
Don’t just chuckle… laugh… enjoy”:

Here is the story from Wikipedia to understand the situation:

“Sunil (Dharmendra) is a navy officer, and has had numerous affairs with a number of attractive young women. One day he meets with beautiful Anuradha (Hema Malini), and falls in love with her. Anuradha too loves him, and she is introduced to his mom. Anuradha has another admirer in Ranjeet (Pran), who informs Sunil and his mom, that Anuradha is deceiving them, and is the mother of a baby boy. Sunil and his mother are shocked, and will have nothing to do with Anuradha. Then the child, in question, is kidnapped, and held for ransom. It is then Sunil comes to know the shocking truth behind the abduction, which will change his life forever.”

Songs with the actors cross-dressing are always funny. Here in this song, it is not just Rajendra Nath cross-dressed as a woman but also as the mother of the child.

Please enjoy: Munne ki amma ye to bata tere bete ke abba ka naam kyaa hai….

 

Funny Song #5

Saala main to saahab ban gaya

The hallmark of a great actor is that he or she is comfortable with playing all kinds of roles whether tragic, serious, mystery, sad and gloomy or even laughable, comic and funny.

Various great actors have won our hearts in this aspect. We have had songs from the great Amitabh Bachchan and we can think of Sanjeev Kumar and the modern day Devdas Shah Rukh Khan.

But, when an actor is dubbed as the Tragedy King because of all the lugubrious roles that he has undertaken and then he comes up with comedy (at least during the song), he is to be admired.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am talking about the great Dilip Kumar. He acted in the title role in the 1974 Tapan Sinha movie Sagina that also starred his wife Saira Bano and Om Prakash. Four years before that, in 1970, Tapan had made the same movie in Bengali, Sagina Mahato with the same actors.

“Sagina is a factory laborer, and aggressive, honest and lovable character who was the first to fight against the tyranny of the British bosses in the Tea gardens of North-Eastern India”.

With this background you would understand the song and why it is so brilliantly funny! He isn’t aping the British (as in Mehmood’s Jodi hamaari). Dilip Kumar here is making fun of them!!

Now that we have finished (for the time being) with the great actor, lets take on the brilliant composer SD Burman. He was the master of classical based songs such as Poochho na kaise maine rahn bitaayi. He was the best in the Hindi movies in assimilating the western guitar in his songs (eg, Ye rat eye chandini phir kahan). And, he has the best comical sounding music in Hindi films: Ik ladaki bheegi bhaagi si. No wonder his son RD Burman too could handle from ultyra serious to ultra comical. This one does justice to the funny situation of the song.

There are two other Bengalis who helped to make this song great and funny: Kishore da singing for Dilip Kumar and Pankaj Mitra singing for Om Prakash. Kishore too, could tackle all kinds of songs from Beqraar dil tu gaaye jaa to the ultra comical (Ek chatur naar). Pankaj Mitra’s role is only to remind Dilip Kumar of his rustic and poor background.

And finally not too far from Bengal, we have Majrooh Sultanpuri. He gave us those lovely and sad songs from Mamta such as Rehate the kabhi. And then he gave us Do ekum do, do dooni chaar from (I think) Dil Deke Dekho.

Truly, all these greats getting together to make a funny song for our own Tragedy King speaks of their genius. The lyrics are very funny and the way Kishore Kumar says Landhan (London) makes it even funnier.

There is nothing funnier than role playing. Since the morning we have had songs with men role playing women, as pregnant women too. Now here is a slave (that’s how the British treated us) role playing his masters and making them look laugheable.

Go to my native state Punjab and you would hear them deliberately mis-pronouncing English words in order to make them laugheable and funny. Bengalis are like Punjabis in this respect: hot blooded but ready to laugh at anything.

Hidden in the comicality of the song, is a message for the present day saahabs to get back to India and Indian way of doing things.

Please enjoy: Saala main to saahab ban gaya….

kishor:
( saalaa mai.n to saahab ban gayaa
are, saalaa mai.n to to saahab ban gayaa, hai.n
re, saahab banake kaisaa tan gayaa
ye buuT meraa dekho, ye suuT meraa dekho
jaisaa goraa koii lanaDhan kaa, haa! ) -2

pa.nkaj:
vaah fakiire! vaah fakiire!
vaah fakiire, suuT pahanakar kaisaa kuude phaa.Nde
kavva jaise pa.Nkh mayuur ke apanii dum me.n baa.Ndhe

kishor:
apanii dum me.n baa.Ndhe !?
kyaa jaano hum is bhejaa me.n kyaa-kyaa nakshaa khii.nchaa -2
liiDar log kii uu.Nchii baate.n, kyaa samajhe tum niichaa
haa.N, kyaa samajhe tum niichaa?
meraa vo jaahilapan gayaa!

##‎ATTENTION!##
saalaa mai.n to …

pa.nkaj:
suurat hai bandar kii phir bhii lagatii hai alabelii -2
kaisaa raajaa bhoj banaa hai meraa ga.Nguu telii

kishor:
teraa ga.Nguu telii !?
tum la.ngoTii-vaalaa na badalaa mai.n na badalegaa
tum sab saalaa log kaa kismat, ham saalaa badalegaa
ham saalaa badalegaa
haa.N, ham saalaa badalegaa

haa … (khaa.nstaa hai)
siinaa dekho kaisaa tan gayaa !! haa haa haa …
(ha.Nsate hu_e) saalaa mai.n to …

Funny Song #6
Mere angne mein tumhaara kyaa kaam hai…

We are now at the half-way mark. This song was put up by another friend Jaswant Singh Lagwal with the following description:

“What Is Funny about the Song: Friends, no life without wife. And almost everyone who desires, gets one and has a life. But, it is also true that to the majority … Biwi hamesha doosre ki hi achchhi lagati hai (I being in minority). Most husbands dislike secretly their wives on one pretext or the other and have sharp eye on the others’ (I not being in those most). Now this is not fair at all. This is not a simple matter and it has to be included into the most serious and dangerous social evils. It must be the foremost task at the hands of the authorities; though it may not be able to solve this but it must be there in its agenda. Other organaizations including all the eminient babaji etc must also come to the forefront and try to solve this social evil. We can take lesson and derive motivation from filmwallas how they are so sincerily working to eradicate this evil. Now take this song, how by just one song, Amitabh Bachchan, Anjaan and Kalaynji Anandji almost convinced all the husbands of India that they all are bade bade naam waale if and if they have such and such kinds of wives. Now who do not want to be a bade naam waala? In that attempt the secret hate will certainly atleast convert into deliberate love.

This song with funny lyrics and an added super comical performance by Amitabh in drag wears gives nice tribute to all kinds of wives be they fat, tall, dark skinned or fair skinned. A great feat towards miyan-biwi harmony, as it will definitely drastically reduce Miyan Biwi ki ladaai.

Friends, first of all , I welcome you all in the Funny songs fest. We are already in the month of April and weather, too everywhere, is fine and pleasant and in that Ravi Sir is not at all wrong in bringing out a Song fest based on pure fun and there seems no reason not to have fun all around and that too in the fest. In a quite funny mood, here, I present my first number of the fest. Mere Angne mein………. And it is from the movie Laawaris released in 1981 directed by Prakash Mehra and starring Amitabh Bachchan, Amjad Khan and Zeenat Aman.

The film became known for its hit song “Mere Angene Mein, Tumhara Kya Kaam Hai” rendered twice: the first time by a young Alka Yagnik who earned her first Filmfare nomination as best female playback singer, and the second time by Amitabh Bachchan. The second version turned out to be a mega hit . Even today the song is popular as it was then.

In Urdu, “Laawaris” means bastard or loosely means orphan. Although the word has a negative connotation, it is not as negative as the English connotation. The story revolves around an orphan who stumbles upon reality in search for his parents. A child born of an illegitimate relationship is named Heera after the name of a dog by a drunkard who makes him work hard for liquor. After knowing that he is a Laawaris (orphan), he leaves home looking for a job with Ranjeet. Fate brings Heera and his biological father together. Will they ever know about the relation between them? What happens if they find out about it?

The film was an ‘All Time Highest Earner’ that year, got highest verdict present at that time by Trade Guide [Bollywood boxoffice magazine], and was among those rare movies, which crossed 2 Crore per territory. There was only 13 All time earner [Crossed 1 Crore per territory] movies till 1984 and Laawaris was among them.

It earned additional Filmfare nominations for Best Actor (Amitabh Bachchan) and Best Supporting Actor (Suresh Oberoi).

The film is remembered for Amitabh Bachchan’s over-the-top acting and fiery dialogues using his all famous Bachchan-baritone, his charismatic and stylish screen presence.

It was another movie of Prakash Mehra where the ending have similarity with the ending of Namak Halal with his favourite villain Ranjeet and Satyen Kapoo.

This film was remade as Naa Desam, in Telugu in 1982, starring NTR, Kaikala Satyanarayana and Jayasudha.andPanakkaran, in Tamil in 1990, starring Rajinikanth, Vijayakumar and Gouthami.

Song : Mere Angne Mein
Music : Kalayanji-Anandji
Lyrics : Prakash Mehra & Anjaan
Singers : Amitabh Bachchan & Alka Yagnik”

Please enjoy: Mere angane mein tumhaara kyaa kaam hai…

La la la la…
La la la la…
La la la la…
La la la la…

Mere angne mein
Mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai… (2)
Joh hai naam wala
Arre joh hai naam wala wahi toh badnaam hai
Mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai

Jiski biwi lambi usska bhi bara naam hai… (2)
Kothe se lagado
Arre kothe se lagado seerhi ka kya kam hai… (2)
Mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai

Jiski biwi moti usska bhi bara naam hai
Jiski biwi moti, o moti, o moti, o moti moti moti
Jiski biwi moti uska bhi bara naam hai
Bistar pe litado
Bistar pe litado gaade ka kya kam hai… (2)
Mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai

Jiski biwi kali usska bhi bara naam hai… (2)
Aankhon mein basalo
Aankhon mein basalo surme ka kya kam hai… (2)
Mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai

Jiski biwi gori uska bhi bara naam hai… (2)
Kamre mein bithalo
Kamre mein bithalo bijli ka kya kam hai… (2)
Mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai

Jiski biwi choti usska bhi bara naam hai… (2)
God mein bithalo, haan haan haan
God mein bithalo bache ka kya kam hai… (2)
Mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai

Mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai… (2)
Joh hai naam wala
Arre joh hai naam wala wahi toh badnaam hai
Mere angne mein, haan mere angne mein
Haan mere angne mein tumhara kya kam hai

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM3l1duDPmg

Funny Song #7

Meri bhains ko danda kyun maara….

When it came to Shankar Jaikishen and Raj Kapoor, I had several songs to choose from and then I short-listed two of them. One, from Raj Kapoor’s classic Mera Naam Joker, that is, Ai bhai zaraa dekh ke chalo. I soon rejected it when I realised that the movie and the song, though outwardly comical with comical name, is actually very serious life movie and that Raj Kumar has used comedy to send a serious message. The second one is from Shree 420, one of the rare songs that has a funny punchline in every stanza: Yes, I am talking about Dil ka haal sune dilwaala. One of the punchlines is:

Bole ye kyaa kar baithe ghotala,
Haay ye kyaa kar baithe ghotala,
Ye to hai thaanedaar ka saala!

Both the songs have been sung by Manna Dey, the ace classical singer in Hindi movies. Yes, they laugh in the songs but somehow I didn’t find them as funny as this third song from Shankar Jaikishen. It is not picturised on Raj Kapoor but on his brother Shammi Kapoor.

Who should you laugh at whilst listening to this song? Yes, the obvious choice is Shammi Kapoor since he was enacting (in his own words this is the most challenging role that he ever did) the title role of the 1969 movie Pagla Kahin Ka. But, after a little while into the movie, you realise that if Shammi Kapoor is to be called Pagla or Crazy or Mad, we in the society are all even more Mad and Crazy. A pagla is a simpleton whereas we find complex characters in the society who don’t make us laugh and smile but make us wince and cry.

Once again Manna Dey, the often very serious classical singer is the comic singer. And guess what? Hasrat Jaipuri who made name for himself with such deep songs as Rasik balmaa and such romantic numbers as Masti bhara hai samaa, also wrote this delightfully farcical song. Goes to prove that all of us have a funny bone somewhere.

For the situation and the acting, I leave it entirely to you (Hint: you will have to watch the song and dissipate 5 mins 10 seconds of your precious time).

This is one funny song wherein the lyrics, notes, sitaution and acting is not just funny but maddeningly farcical.

Please enjoy: Mei bhains ko danda kyun maara….

Meri bhains ko danda kyun maara?

kyu mara kyu mara kyu mara kyu mara
kyu kyu kyu kyu kyu kyu kyu meri bhais ko danda
meri bhais ko danda kyu mara wo khet me chara charti thi
tere bap ka wo kya karti thi meri bhais ko danda kyu mara
wo khet me chara charti thi tere bap ka wo kya karti thi
meri bhais ko danda kyu mara
wo laddu pede khati hai wo pedo pe chad jati hai
wo laddu pede khati hai wo pedo pe chad jati hai
ye machhar been bajate hai wo apna rag sunati hai
wo thumak thumak nache jam mai dil ka bajau

mai dil ka bajau ek tara meri bhais ko danda kyu mara
wo khet me chara charti thi tere bap ka wo kya karti thi
meri bhais ko danda kyu mara
are ghar ka ye station hai or jhandi pyari pyari hai
are ghar ka ye station hai or jhandi pyari pyari hai
hum sab to rail ke dibbe hai wo apni eingine gadi hai
wo gussa jab bhi karti hai to ban jati hai
ban jati hai angara meri bhais ko danda kyu mara
wo khet me chara charti thi tere bap ka wo kya karti thi
meri bhais ko danda kyu mara

bandhu re bandhu re wo jan se badhkar payari hai
badhu re bandhu re kya bolu mai kya bolu mai
ek katari hai bandhu re bandhu re wo jan se badhkar payari hai
kya bolu ek katari hai wo jan se badhkar pari hai
kya bolu ek katari hai kajrari uski ankhiya hai
viswas se apni yari hai maine to apni kallo ka nam rakha
hai nam rakha jaha nara meri bhais ko danda kyu mara
wo khet me chara charti thi tere bap ka wo kya karti thi
meri bhais ko danda kyu mara wo khet me chara charti thi
tere bap ka wo kya karti thi meri bhais ko danda kyu mara
wo khet me chara charti thi tere bap ka wo kya karti thi
meri bhais ko danda kyu mara wo khet me chara charti thi
tere bap ka wo kya karti thi meri bhais ko danda kyu mara

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gP4jHdxko4g

Funny Songs #8

Muthukodi kawaadi hadda….

In the Funny Song #1 above, I didn’t give you the Jhoola song that Sumedha Nair had put up (though I gave you her sterling description) but opted for the more hilarious Padosan number with the same mukhada: Ek chatur naar…

Here is then one by her that is really funny with her own description:

“Whats funny is (no I don’t mean in this song, I’ll come to that later) that so many titles of films are repeated over and over again in India and so many remakes. Now for instance this ‘Do Phool’ was made in 1973 but earlier same name in 1958. Later this story was copied for a film Aankhen. And Aankhen is being made again with new cast. Do Phool was a remake of Tamil film which was later remade in Kannada. Can understand it if all these were some super classic stories and had to be showcased again n again …

The song muthukodi kawaadi hadda is a direct lift from a Tamil film. Mehmood wanted it and RD Burman obliged, he couldn’t have said no to the producer. The first two words mean – Give me a kiss. Wow that would take you to a special scenario, a girl, a boy, picturesque setting, candle lights, water, beaches and whatnot. What do we get? Water yes, beaches yes, lots of trees yes – coconuts 😀, Hero and the heroine of the song yes, but do we get tender moments – No, Give me a kiss? Ok take it but you have to catch me first. Hilarious! So they play catch me if you can around the trees, they wrestle on the beach, they also perform couple of Bharatnatyam steps. And while all this is going on, I can well imagine the audience in the theatre laughing and whistling and clapping.

Mehmood was one of our best comedians but he could do serious roles with great intensity too. His acting in ‘Aa ri aaja nindiya tu’ can bring tears to any eyes then why would he take meaningless roles with bad comic timing is beyond me. Though he sang well in this song along with Asha Bhonsle.

This song for me is very funny not in its literal sense though.

Lyrics
Muthukodi kawadi hadaaMuthukodi kawadi hadaa
aiyyo
Muthukodi kawadi hadaaMuthukodi kawadi hadaa
aiyyo re
pyaar me jo na karna chaahawo bhi mujhe karna padaa
haaa ha haa aa
Muthukodi kawadi hadaaMuthukodi kawadi hadaa
aiyyo re
pyaar me jo na karna chaahawo bhi mujhe karna padaa
aiyyo da aiyyo aiyyo
Muthukodi kawadi hadaaamme
Muthukodi kawadi hadaa
kahta tha chaahoon tujhko jee se
tu to ghabraata hai abhi se
amme amme
gale lag jaa re phir dikhaa doon
achaa
haan
dharti oopar hai swarg neeche
ui maa
thoda to duniya se dar le
yende karle yende karlena maane bedardi
aiyyo daaiyyo daaiyo aiyyo
Muthukodi kawadi hadaaamma
Muthukodi kawadi hadaaaiyyo re
pyaar me jo na karna chaaha
wo bhi mujhe karna padaaaiyyo amma
Muthukodi kawadi hadaaamme
Muthukodi kawadi hadaa
kar detaa hai re mujhebekal kal kal kal kal kal kal
seene se gir ke tera aanchallahala lahala lahala laha laha
dagmag chalke na gir padoon mainphir kyaa
matwaale mujhko thaam ke chalammaseena taane baanhe taane
aisi ye mastaani doledole jaise daaru ka ghadaaaiyyo amma
Muthukodi kawadi hadaaamma
Muthukodi kawadi hadaaaiyyo re
pyaar me jo na karna chaahawo bhi mujhe karna padaa
aiyyo da amma
Muthukodi kawadi hadaaammaMuthukodi kawadi hadaaaiyyo re
pyaar me jo na karna chaahawo bhi mujhe karna padaa
aiyyo da aiyyo aiyyo
Muthukodi kawadi hadaaamme
Muthukodi kawadi hadaaaiyyo
Muthukodi kawadi hadaaaiyyo daa amma
Muthukodi kawadi hadaaamma
Muthukodi kawadi hadaaMuthukodi kawadi hadaa
Muthukodi kawadi hadaa”

Please enjoy: Muthukodi kawaadi hadda….

Funny Song #9

Lambu ji lambu ji bolo tingu ji……

When Sumedha Nair put up the predecessor of the song in the cover picture of the Fest (Ek chatur naar that I didn’t eventually put up in the Fest), she was adamant that I should put up mine also. I told her that when PG Wodehouse wrote his ‘Summer Lightning’, it was pointed out to him that a novel by that name, by another author, already existed. So, in the introduction to his book, PGW wrote, “I hope mine will be in the first ten books titled Summer Lightning.”

It is only so long that one can go on repeating songs!

I have plenty up my sleeve and here is a really funny one.

Manmohan Desai, the director of popular though trash movies, compared himself with – hold your breath – Satyajit Ray; a similar comparison can only be between Ludhiana and London! And why did he do so? He said, “Ray and I both make movies about poor people; only in my movies they become rich during the movie itself”.

MD decided to make movies initially about two brothers having been lost: he called them Dharam and Veer. Seeing the success of that, he tried it with three brothers: Amar, Akbar and Antony. At last count, he had brothers galore in every nook and corner.

He directed the 1983 movie Coolie. The movie, even before it was made, was made famous by a fight scene between Amitabh Bachchan and Puneet Issar that nearly showed AB the door to heaven that his celebrated dad Harivanshrai Bachchan often alluded to in his poems.

The contest between AB and PI wasn’t the only contest in the movie. In the song for which I have put up the mukhada above, there is one between Amitabh Bachchan as Lambu ji and Rishi Kapoor as Tingu ji. They are literally the Spy Vs Spy team trying to woo a lady-love. In just one song sequence the total story of their tooth-and-nail contest ends. Throughout the song they are wanting the other one to keep clear of her. At the end of the song, after meeting the parents, and realising that there is no dowry (a humorous take on dowry!) they are palming off her to the other!

It is such a funny situation that, in case you have forgotten, you have to see for yourself.

The movie was, of course, edited by Hrishikesh Mukherjee who is adept at making light comedies that are meaningful too.

The song is a tribute to the most abiding and most popular pairing of a lyricist with music director in the Hindi movies. As I have said many times earlier too, they have the maximum songs for which the Binaca (later Cibaca) Geetmala bugle was sounded. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am talking about Anand Bakshi and Laxmikant Pyarelal. The singers are Shailendra Singh and Shabbir Kumar for the Lambu and Tingu respectively.

Please put your hair down and enjoy the story of an ultimate comedy in the duration of just one song: Lambu ji lambu ji, bolo tingu ji….

lambuji lambuji bolo tinguji, lambuji lambuji ha bolo tinguji
mere raste me tang na adana mere raste me tang na adana
iss kanya ko hath na lagana ho hath na lagana
yeh tinguji tinguji bolo lambuji, tinguji tinguji ha bolo lambuji
mere raste me tang na adana mere raste me tang na adana
iss kanya ko hath na lagana ho hath na lagana
tinguji tinguji bolo lambuji, lambuji lambuji bolo tinguji

ha dekha isse maine tumse pehle, dhundha maine isse tumse pehle
ha dekha isse maine tumse pehle, dhundha maine isse tumse pehle
par ley rahi hai yeh nam mera, chhodo ji yeh hai inam mera inam mera
lambuji lambuji bolo tinguji, mere gusse ko na nind se jagana
iss kanya ko hath na lagana, ho hath na lagana
lambuji lambuji kya bolo tinguji

madras se mai aya hu bombay, raste me ho gaye tum kitne lambe
lambi uidane kad kitna chota
iss khel me kya chota kya mota kya chota kya mota
lambuji lambuji bolo tinguji, lambe kad ka na rob too jamana
iss kanya ko hath na lagana ho hath na lagana
lambuji lambuji o bolo bolo tinguji

laya nahi isko bhagakar, yeh faisala karega iska father
laya nahi isko bhagakar, yeh faisala karega iska father
kar dale na yeh kissa barabar, dono ka yane hissa barabar
lambuji lambuji bolo tinguji, ladki hai yeh nahi koyi khajana
iss kanya ko hath na lagana ho hath na lagana
hath na lagana hath na lagana, lambuji tinguji

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-I3DvoH8MQ

 

Funny Song #10
Pag ghungroo baandh Meera nachi thi….

This song was put up by my friend Vipan Kohli with the following description:

“What is funny about thus song? Just watch Amitabh Bachhan and the other actors performing on this song to find the answer to this question. Particularly watch Amitabh’s dance steps and the antics of the drunkard guest of the hotel.

This song from Namak Halaal is an awesome song. Just listening to this song cheers one up. Kishore Kumar has sung the song so well and with such enthusiasm that one can feel the enthusiasm every time one listens to this song.

Not just Kishore Kumar, everyone associated with the creation of the song seem to have caught the enthusiasm bug. When everyone is so keyed up, then the result has to be a wonderful song, and indeed this song is a memorable song. Lyricist Anjaan, as well as Bappi Lahiri, the music director and his team have freaked out and have come up with an amazing song.

So far, I have only talked about the audio. The picturisation matches the audio just as well. In fact, the picturisation just before the song begins is also worth watching. The entire picturisation, before the first word of the song appears, sets the tone for a wonderfully hilarious and light hearted experience. Amitabh Bachchan, with the picturisation of this song, enhanced his reputation as an actor with great comic sense. The supporting cast, especially the actor who is determined to shake the hand of Amitabh, only to get rebuffed each time, Ranjit- the hotel manager, Ram Sethi- the photographer friend of Amitabh, everyone have contributed in making this song a great visual experience.

Namak Halal is a 1982 movie about a youngster named Arjun Singh who is the son of Bhim Singh, the bodyguard and a loyal employee of Seth Raja Singh. Bhim Singh and Seth die at the hands of Girdhar Singh Seth Raja’s step brother. Seth entrusts the custody of his properties and his son Raj Kumar to Bhim Singh’s wife Savitri Devi. Savitri promises to Bhim Singh that she will take care of Raj Kumar under all circumstances. She hands over her own son Arjun to the care of her father in law Dashrath Singh.

Young Arjun (Amitabh Bachchan) is brought up by his Daddu (Om Prakash). His Daddu decides for him to go to the city in search of a new job and life. Arjun reluctantly agrees, and re-locates to Bombay. While in the city he meets up with Bhairon (Ram P. Sethi) who guides him into finding a job as a servant in a 5-star hotel owned by Raj Kumar aka Raja (Shashi Kapoor). While in the hotel, Arjun meets Poonam (Smita Patil) and falls in love with her. Arjun is very loyal to the owner, Raja. He also looks up to Savitridevi who manages the hotel, until he finds out that Savitridevi is his biological mother, and that the Raja believes that she is involved in a plot to kill him. During this time, many attempts are made to kill Raja by the one and only Girdar Singh (Satyendra Kappoo) and his son Ranjeet (Ranjeet). All these attempts are thwarted by Arjun. Finally goons kidnap Arjun’s and Raja’s family members and blackmail them to transfer all his property to Ranjit’s name. Arjun and Raja beat all bad guys and save their loved ones. Raja marries Nisha and Arjun marries Poonam at the end and they reconcile with their mother Savitri.

Amitabh in the role of Arjun is a laugh riot. I particularly liked his English speaking skills at the interview “I can talk English I can laugh English because English is a very Phunny language. You see Bhairon becomes Bhairan and Bhairan becomes Bhairon because their minds are very Nairon.” This movie was Amitabh all through. His performance on this song remain in my memory till date and will continue to be there till I breathe my last.”

I have to add and the movie and the song are dear to me sincde this was the last movie that I saw with my dad before he died of a jeep accident. It is unforgettable comedy by Amitabh, poking fun at the usurpers and evil people. And yet, when he sees the love of his life, Smita Patil, he suddenly turns serious: mausam-e-ishq mein machale huye armaan hain ham.

Imagine Bappi Lahiri composing it in a royal raag: Raag Darbari Kanada!

So ladies and gentlemen enjoy this must watch audio visual treat: Pag ghungroo baandh Meera nachi thi….

Buzurgon ne,
Buzurgon ne, farmaya ki pairo mein apne khade hoke dhiklavo
phir yeh zamana thumhara hai,
zamane ke sur thaal ke saath, badthe chale jaao
phir har taraana, fasaana tumhara hai
arey tho lo bhaiya hum, apne..
pairon pe oopar, khade ho gayeeeeey,
aur milalee hai taal
dabha lega daanton thale ungliyaan…liyaan..
yeh jahan dekh kar, dekh kar
apnee chal…<WAH WAH> <WAH WAH>
Dhanyavaadh…
Ki pag ghunghuroo baandh, meera naachithi
aur hum naache bin ghunguroo ke
Ki pag ghunghuroo baandh, meera naachithi
woh theer bhala, kis kaam ka hai
jo theer nishane se chooke chooke chooke rrre..
ki pag ghunguroo…
<Sa sa sa> <ga ga> <ree ree> <sa ree ree> <ga ga ga> (2)
<pa pa pa> <pa pa> <ma ma> <ga ree ree> <ma ma ma> (2)
<pa nee sa>(2)…<ma pa nee>(2)
<re re re re> <re ga> <re ga> <re ga>
<pa ni da ni sa……..?????????>
<pa ma ga ri sa ni da pa da>(3) PHEW!!!!!!
MMMMMMM…..
aap andhar se kuch, aur baahar se kuch aur nazar aathe hain,
bakhuda shakl se tho, CHOR nazar aathe hain,
umr guzri hai saari chori mein
saare sukh cheyn bandh, jurm ki thijhori mein
aap ka tho lagta hai bas yahi sapna
ram naam japna paraya maal apna (2)
vatan ka khaya namak tho, namak halal karo,
farz imaan yahan zinda misaal bano
paraya dhan, parayi naar pe nazar math dalo
buri aadath hai yeh, aadhath abhi badal dalo
kyon ki!!!!
yeh aadath to, woh aag hai jo
????????
Mausam-e-ishq mein machle hua armaan hai hum
aisa lagta hai ki do jism ek jaan hai hum
aisa lagta hai to lagne mein kuch burai nahin
dil yeh kahta hai aap apnee hai, parayee nahin
Sangemarmar ki hai, koi moorath ho tum
koi dilkash badi, khoobsurat ho tum
dil dil se milne ka koi muhurat ho
pyaase dilon ki zaroorath ho tum
dil cheer-ke, dikhladoon mein,
dil mein yahi, soorath haseen
Kya aap ko lagtha nahin,hum hai mile pahle kahin..
kya des hai, kya jaath hai,
arey chodiye inn baaton se,
hamko bhala kya kaam hai
ajee suniye tho….hum aap miley
to phir ho shuru
afsaane laila, majnu laila majnu ke…
Ki pag ghunghuroo………

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTvUrpSr9ck

Funny Song #11

Rukmani rukmani shaadi ke baad….

In my list of Top Twelve Funny Songs in Hindi movies, I am steering clear from any more cross-dressing songs though several more were put up. One of these from the 1975 movie Rafoo Chakkar, put up by my friend Raj Dutta had Rishi Kapoor and Paintal enetering the railway compartment of ladies only by cross-dressing as females. However, here is my attempt to give you another genre’ of Funny songs: the subtle humour that is.

And this is subtle humour at its best.

Let me build up to it. The subject of sex is privately our most favourite topic. Some of us (including me) spend more time thinking of sex than about anything else. God is often a distant second. But, we are shy to discuss it in public!

DN Chakrapani was the greatest cricket commentator that India ever had. It was during those days when we used to listen to commentary on the Short Wave radio and through commentary only imagine the scene. Well, one day, when India was playing against England (that time it used to be India Vs MCC) at Lord’s in London, a man streaked and ran around naked in the stadium. Here is what DNC had to say about it, “Old ladies in the crowd can now see what they haven’t seen for quite a while”. This song has that element too.

Someone has said and with great justification that there is nothing funnier than love-making or sex! I mean, just imagine, it is almost like wrestling. The only difference is that instead of winning, both the partners are trying to lose. A famous cartoon of two kids shows them naked with the boy standing on the head of the girl with this caption from the boy: “So, okay, we are rid of our clothes now and I am on top of you. I wonder when the delirious fun would start?” And the girl, bearing his weight on her head says, “I don’t know about fun; but, now I understand why mom complains of headache everytime dad wants sex”!

It is as funny as that.

It is a fact that though we don’t want to admit it, we all have a degree of voyeurism in us. Not only, our own sexual experiences excite us but even those of others do fascinate us. A latest whatsapp forward, for example, has this guy on his honeymoon night giving his Facebook status update, “We are now in the bedroom” and whole lot of his friends comment, “We are there with you Aslam bhai. Don’t be scared. Just keep telling us what is happening”.

Talking about status updates, showing sexual prowess, at least in bragging, is an art. Three of these close buddies get married on the same date and go to the same hotel for honeymoon. They said when they meet for breakfast they would tell one another about the number of times. But, it would be too crude and too direct and the ladies would be offended. So they devised a code. They would wish each other ‘Good morning’ with the number of times that they managed.

Next day, in the breakfast room, Sandeep was the first one there. Soon, Deepak joined him and wished him, “Good morning, good morning”. To this Sandeep heartily responded, “Good morning, good morning, good morning”.

Having settled the score between them, they awaited Amrik Singh to join them. Amrik Singh (totally bedraggled) joined in with his wife Kartar Kaur looking fresh as a daisy. Sandeep and Deepak greeted him with their specified number of Good mornings. There was no immediate response from Amrika. They goaded him to say something. Then in a frail voice, Amrik muttered, “Good morning, good morning, good morning, good…….until morning”!

As I said, we are shy to discuss sex in public though Indians, taditionally, use more sex than the rest of the world (the whole world is now concerned that through this obsession with sex, every one in six person on earth is an Indian).

In the movie, of course, it requires more sensitive handling. This sensitivity, excitement, and voyeurism has added to the funny quotient of this remarkably well choreographed song from the 1993 movie Roja starring Arvind Swamy and Madhu. Mani Ratnam won accolades for the movie even more than he did for Bomaby. Many also feel that AR Rehman‘s music in this movie is par excellence; much much better than the Jai Ho number for which he got Oscar.

Shweta and Baba Sehgal have sung this song. Lyrics are by PK Mishra. I heard Baba Sehgal last November in Bacardi Weekender at Pune. He hasn’t lost his penchant for really funny songs.

In the meantime, please enjoy: Rukmani, Rukmani, shaadi ke baad….

rukamanii rukamanii shaadii ke baad kyaa-kyaa hu_aa
(o rukmani! what all took place after the marriage)

shaadii ke baad kyaa kyaa hu_aa

kaun haaraa kaun jiitaa
(who won and who lost)

khi.Dakii me.n se dekho zaraa
(peek a little into the window)

baa.Nho.N me.n hai.n baa.Nhe.N Daale miiThii baate.n hone lagii.n
(putting arms in the arms, sweet talks started)

khaTiyaa pe dhiire-dhiire khaT-khaT hone lagii
(slowly the bed started making noise)

aage piichhe hu_aa to chhaT-paT hone lagii
(when they went ahead of went back then it started persisting)

chaachii tujhe baa.Nho.N me.n Daalaa hogaa chaachaa ne
(o aunty, the uncle must have put you in his arms)

maamii tujhe pyaar se chhe.Daa hogaa maamaa ne
(o aunty, the uncle must have sneered at you with love)

chhoTii sii dulhaniyaa ne piyaa ko sataayaa hogaa
(the little bride would have tortured the husband)

haath jo.D balamaa ne gorii ko manaayaa hogaa
(the husband would have clasped hands to appease the fair girl)

piyaa ne god me.n phir biThaayaa pyaar se
(then after the husband would have taken her to sit in his lap)

ek baar dil se phir lagaayaa pyaar se
(once again he would have again embraced her to his heart)

u.Ngalii se chhu_aa hogaa kaa.Np ga_ii gorii tab
(when he would have touched with finger then the fair girl would have shivered)

kaamadev mast ho ke naachane lage the tab
(the the god of sex had broken into dancing with enjoyment)

a.ng-a.ng khil gayaa bijalii ka.Dak ga_ii
(every limb bloomed, the lightening sounded)

bi.ndiyaa chamak ga_ii chuu.Diyaa.N khanak ga_ii.N
(the forhead jwelery started shining, the bangles started crackling)

mile do badan to ye javaanii khil ga_ii
(when the two bodies met, then the adulthood bloomed)

zamii.n-aasamaa.N kii har Kushii tab mil ga_ii
(then they achieved every happiness of the land and the sky)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4e_DmnoODk

Funny Songs #12

Jori hamari jamega kaise jani…..

I have a dilemma now. I had decided to give only twelve songs and this is the last one. Already the blog-post is quite long. In this much length of post, my friends from IndiBlogger would have given twelve posts and many of them as many as two to three dozen posts!

I have such really funny songs still remaining from the Fest such as:

  1. Parody of Pritam aan milo from the comi-drama Angoor based on Shakespearian play Comedy of Errors put up by Manik Lakhkar Chava.
  2. Aao aao aao sawariya from the movie Padosan put up by Nitin Shringarpure.
  3. O meri pyaari Bindu from Padosan put yup by Vipan Kohli.
  4. Ham to mohabbat karega from Dilli Ka Thug by Maj Vishwas Mandloi.
  5. Wo pari kahan se laayun from 1970 movie Pehchaan by Anindya Chatterjee.
  6. Sun sun sun didi tere liye from Khoobsurat by Manik Lakhkar Chava.
  7. Sar jo tera chakraaye from Pyaasa by Vipan Kohli.
  8. Aslam bhai from Love Ke Liye Kuchh Bhi Karega by Nitin Shringarpure.
  9. Emotional atyaachaar from Dev D by Sumedha Nair.
  10. Ae meri meri johra jabeen from Phir Hera Pheri by Raj Dutta.

I have, however, opted for the following:

Funny Song #12

Jodi hamaari jamega kaise jaani….

This was put up by my friend Sumona Jaswant Grewal with the following description:

“It is from the flm Aulaad. This film released in 1968 had Jeetendra, Babita, Mehmood, and  Aruna Irani in main roles. This song a comic one was picturised on Mehmood and Aruna Irani, while Mahmood was at the peak of his career as top comedian and Aruna was just a new comer. I liked this song as not only its lyrics create comedy in itself but Mehmood’s imitation of Hollywood comedian Charlie Chaplin created very good comedy for those who had never seen Charlie Chaplin thinking this action belonged to our comedian and for those who had already watched Charlie this was very close imitation. Not only dressing but even acting and walking and other actions with small stick in hands matched perfectly. Chitragupta had created music for this movie, Majrooh Sultanpuri wrote the lyrics and Manna Dey and Asha Bhonsle sang this in comedy style.”

One has to give full marks to Chitragupta for seamlessly fusing Western pop tune with Indian one. Full marks also to both Mehmood and Aruna Irani for their acting. Majrooh’s take on crazy fascination of the youth for all things Western is also to be admired.

Please enjoy: Jodi hamaari jamega kaise jaani…

jodi hamari jamega kaise jani
jodi hamari jamega kaise jani
ham to hai angreji tum ladki hindustani

tumko bhi mushkil mujhe bhi pareshani
tumko bhi mushkil mujhe bhi pareshani
bat mano saiya ban jao hindustani, jodi hamari

angreji mulak me kitna romance hai
bahar kaa chokari kitna advance hai
angreji mulak me kitna romance hai
bahar kaa chokari kitna advance hai

dekhe bina kabhi koyi itane pyar se
mukhde pe laj ka ancharva dar ke
khilti hai ghunghat me jawani
jodi hamari jamega kaise jani

jodi hamari jamega kaise jani
bat mano saiyan ban jao hindustani, jodi hamari

baho me tham ke do ghanta roj me
tumko shikhlayega ulfat ka poz me
baho me tham ke do ghanta roj me
tumko shikhlayega ulfat ka poz me

daiya re nain ka kajra na chhut jayey
jhankoro na piya jhumka na tut jayey
ro degi dekho tumhare dil ki rani
tumko bhi mushkil mujhe bhi pareshani
tumko bhi mushkil mujhe bhi pareshani
ham to hai angreji tum ladki hindustani, jodi hamari

lau me kat du lambi lambi yeh lat
tumko to hir se banana hai juliet
lau me kat du lambi lambi yeh lat
tumko to hir se banana hai juliet

yun na pagal bano dekho re balma
chila ke shor me kar dungi jalima
julfen ghata ki naa dungi me diwani

jodi hamari jamega kaise jani
jodi hamari jamega kaise jani
ham to hai angreji tum ladki hindustani
tumko bhi mushkil mujhe bhi pareshani
tumko bhi mushkil mujhe bhi pareshani
bat mano saiyan ban jao hindustani, jodi hamari

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWAKBMvILpY

So that’s my list of the Top Twelve Funny Songs in Hindi movies. With the deluge of such songs, I am sure you would have your own list. You may share with me in the comments below.

 

MAIN KADAM KADAM PE HAARA

तुम रूठो तो मेरी गलती, मैं रूठूँ तो मेरी I
दोनों रुख़ से जीत हुई है, ऐ सनम अब तेरी I

जीत के तुझे वह मिल गया जो हार के मुझे मिल न पाया I
फिर भी लगता है तेरे दिल पे पढ़ा है कोई ग़म का साया I
तुम चाहो तो चाहत है, मैं चाहूँ तो भूल है मेरी I
दोनों रुख़ से जीत हुई है, ऐ सनम अब तेरी I

काश जो अब तुम समझ रही हो, वह पहले ही समझती I
कदम कदम पे बात बात पर मुझसे ना उलझती I
गाली गलोज और इल्ज़ामों की तुमने लगाई थी ढेरी I
दोनों रुख़ से जीत हुई है, ऐ सनम अब तेरी I

मैं मायूस उदास ज़रूर हूँ, लेकिन हूँ नहीं तनहा I
याद है मुझको संग बिताया हर एक अनोखा लम्हा I
मेरी मुहब्बत साथ रहती है, बनके याद सुनहरी I
दोनों रुख़ से जीत हुई है, ऐ सनम अब तेरी I

मुझे तुमसे कोई शिकवा नहीं, ना है कोई शिकायत I
इक तरफ़ा प्यार की, तेरी महफ़िल में थी रिवायत I
तुम्हें ज़िन्दगी की खुशियां मुबारक, मेरे लिए चोट है गहरी I
दोनों रुख़ से जीत हुई है, ऐ सनम अब तेरी I

इक डोर थी जो अब टूटने को है , सजाई थी ख़्वाबों की जन्नत I
इक सांस है जो अब झूटने को है, मांगी थी ज़िन्दगी की मन्नत I
तेरी कामयाबी पर, कबूल हो बधाई अब मेरी I
दोनों रुख़ से जीत हुई है, ऐ सनम अब तेरी I

(Pic courtesy: america.pink)

Tum rootho to meri galti, main roothun to meri,
Dono rukh se jeet hui hai, ai sanam ab teri.

Jeet ke tujhe woh mil gaya, jo haar ke mujhe mil naa paaya,
Phir bhi lagta hai tere dil pe padha hai koi gham ka saaya;
Tum chaaho to chaahat hai, main chaahun to bhool hai meri,
Dono rukh se jeet hui hai, ai sanam ab teri.

Kaash jo ab tum samajh rahi ho, wo pehle hi samajhati,
kadam kadam pe baat baat par mujhase na ulajhati.
Gaali galoz aur armaano ki tumane to lagaayi thi dheri,
Dono rukh se jeet hui hai, ai sanam ab teri.

Main maayus udhass zaroor hoon, lekin hoon nahin tanha,
Yaad hai mujhako sang bitaaya, har ek anokha lamha.
Meri mohabbat sang rehti hai, banake yaad sunehri,
Dono rukh se jeet hui hai, ai sanam ab teri.

Mujhe tumase koi shikwa nahin, naa hai koi shikaayat,
Ik tarfa pyaar ki, teri mehfil mein thi riwaayat.
Tumhen zindagi ki khushiyan mubarak, mere liye chot hai gehri,
Dono rukh se jeet hui hai, ai sanam ab teri.

Ik dore thi jo ab tootne ko hai, sajaayi thi khwaabon ki jannat,
Ek saans hai jo ab jhootne ko hai, maangi thi zindagi ki mannat.
Teri kamyaabi pe, ai dost, qabool ho badhaayi meri,
Dono rukh se jeet hui hai, ai sanam ab teri.

MEN WOULD BE MEN

I was posted for my watch-keeping certificate on INS Himgiri. Within three weeks of my joining, we sailed for a lovely foreign cruise to Russia (the beautiful port of Odessa, the port city having been designed like a ladies’ hand-fan. Legend says that when Queen Catherine was asked about what the city should look like, she just opened her fan to give herself some air and they (the city architects) thought that it should be designed like a fan!), Split (in erstwhile Yugoslavia) and Athens (in Greece; the seat of modern civilization and democracy).
 
USS Mitscher (named to honour Admiral Marc A. Mitscher (1887–1947), famed naval aviator and World War II aircraft carrier task group commander) was the name of the American ship that berthed not too far from Himgiri. The year was 1975 and we didn’t have too many restrictions that time about seeing, talking to and being with foreigners. The only terror that India had seen was its Prime Minister who declared Emergency in order to protect her position that was challenged by a ruling of the Allahabad High Court.
 
We were lucky to be away from the country after the Emergency was declared. Billoo (my course-mate) and I just ambled across to Mitscher to say “hi” to the yanks. They received us on board without much ado and many of them, at our invitation, joined us for drinks in our wardroom (the US Ships unlike the British from whom we have derived our customs and traditions, do not have hard drinks on their ships).
 
We were much impressed by the latest in missiles, gunnery and torpedoes on their destroyer. But, more than that we were amused by the carefree atmosphere on board rather than the “ji Sir ji” stiffness in our own armed forces.
 
We insisted on seeing everything on board. They even demonstrated the loading of the Tartar missile launcher. And then we came to the door of the compartment called Ops Room. Billoo and my eagerness to see the inside of their Ops Room was in sharp contrast to their eagerness to whisk us away. Billoo is more British than the British and more Yank than the Yanks. He uttered blithely, “Ah, you won’t want us to see your Ops Room because it would give away all your secrets”.
 
Lieutenant John who was taking us around admitted that it was really SECRET that he was protecting and we better not see it. Billoo is Chauhan and I am a Singh; the only way to arouse our curiosity totally is to bar us from seeing something. We were determined like the soldiers in the armies of Prithviraj Chauhan and Maharaja Ranjit Singh and declared with solemnity that the only reason why we had stepped on board was to see their Ops Room.
 
John cracked open the Ops Room door, put his head inside, took it out and declared, “No, it is too much of a SECRET to share with Indians”. Billoo, always quick on the draw, shared a dirty one about their sharing many a thing with Red Indians and concluded that there won’t be any harm done to share with the Brown Indians.
 
Resignedly, John shrugged his shoulders and opened the Ops Room door. We stepped in and their SECRET was revealed in stark reality. Inside, a dozen sailors were busy leafing through and drooling at the center-spreads of ‘men’s only’ magazines: Playboy and Penthouse.
(Pic courtesy: toonz)
 
All this ‘knowledge’ cannot go un-shared. We ‘borrowed’ some. In the evening when they came on board, we gave them dog-eared copies of our own men’s magazines: Debonair and Gentlemen.
 
Navies are all about making bridges of friendship across the seas!

THE MOST POWERFUL SEA-GOD: FRESH-WATER TANKEY

There is this story of a sailor who went on his first leave after having been recruited in the Navy and having served on his first ship. The next day, first his mother and then his sisters, brother, father etc noticed that Jagtar Singh was in such deep sleep – as the one that a person gets in the Punjabi proverb ghode vech ke (after selling the horses) – that he refused to budge, let alone get up.

As the story goes, the alarmed parents and family consulted other siyaane (wise) men and women in the village but no one had any clue to this peculiar problem, let alone a solution. They also consulted the local quack who felt the sailor’s pulse and declared that the problem was beyond his saayins (science) too and all that the family could do was to pray.

They were about to give up when it occurred to them that Satnam Singh, another sailor, who had retired from the Navy a few years back, lived in the next village and probably he would know what is to be done with this unique naval problem. So, their other son Amrik (nickname Happy) was sent on the only power driven vehicle the family had – their Escort tractor – to fetch Satnam Singh from the next village.

One thing that the Navy teaches you is camaraderie; the fact is that you live in such close quarters that you are not just familiar with the way your shipmate’s looks but also his whims, fancies, idiosyncrasies and – hold your breath – smell. There is something about the salty seawater smell of a navy man that makes him stand out like a…..like a….well, salt-horse in the waves at sea. Hence, very soon, they had Happy bringing back Satnam Singh to revive Jagtar Singh. Satnam didn’t take long to come to grips with the situation. He lifted the eyelids of Jagtar and satisfied himself that Jagtar was alive but only blissfully sleeping; almost in a state of induced coma. He stood next to Jagtar’s prone figure and shouted, “Fresh water would remain open in all bathrooms for the next ten minutes”.

Jagtar’s reaction was to be seen to believed. He shot out of his cot like a pilot of an about to go down plane from his ejection seat, grabbed the nearest towel and shot into the nearest bathroom.

The grateful family asked Satnam, “Kaka, tussi Navy wich daakter sige?” (Son, were you a doctor in the Navy?)
And Satnam replied with pride, “Nahin ji; main fresh-water tankey si aapne jahaaz wich” (No, I was a Fresh Water Tankeyon my ship)

Many of you from the Army, Navy or civil backgrounds won’t know the importance of this position on the ship that Satnam proudly said he occupied, but an officer or sailor or even civilian on board (yes we have some civilians too on board like the dhobi, barber and civilian bearers) would know that a Fresh Water Tankey on board a ship is next to God only. He is a ME (Mechanical Engineer) who has been entrusted with the opening and closing of water from the Fresh Water Tank or Tanks (and hence called Tankey) to various bathrooms and galleys. Water at sea is the most scarce commodity. It would surely remind you of ‘water water everywhere and not a drop to drink”.

Yesterday, the veteran naval community in Mumbai were regaled by our annual Admiral Soman lecture (named after the visionary Vice Admiral Bhaskar Sadashiv Soman who was the 4th Chief of the Naval Staff of the Indian Navy from 1962 to 1966) by Ms Mehar Heroyce Moos on the subject of her expedition to Antarctica in 1977, making her the first Indian woman to have done so. She has been an avid and intrepid traveler who has visited 180 countries, tasted all kinds of food, met all kinds of people, and seen every nook and corner of our vast and beautiful Earth. During her talk she mentioned how, in Antarctica, water was the most precious commodity in all the camps. This would give you an idea of the famous water-water-everywhere dilemma. Antarctica is house to so much of ice that if it were to suddenly melt, the water levels of the oceans would rise by 57 feet. It stores seventy percent of Earth’s usable water. And yet when you are there, water is scarce.

Mehar Moos delivering her Antarctica talk at INHS Asvini auditorium in Mumbai
Mehar Moos delivering her Antarctica talk at INHS Asvini auditorium in Mumbai

Ships have evaporators to convert the salt-water into usable or potable water called fresh-water. Warships, as compared to merchant ships, have considerable manpower on board to man various weapons and sensors and combat positions. These men require fresh-water for various activities. The ship’s main purpose is to fight and hence fresh-water is not just scarce but luxury on board. Hence the importance of FW Tankey on board. It would be only at some scheduled timings that FW Tankey would open the fresh-water. If you miss the announcement, you have to wait for the next schedule that lasts only about 10 to 15 minutes. And who knows when the next schedule is there, whether you will be on watch or not, spreading your fragrance to all those who were fortunate enough to have not missed the earlier schedule.

Precisely for this reason, your ears are so tuned to this refreshing announcement that nothing else, not even ‘Hands to Action Stations’ or even ‘Hands to Lunch/Dinner’ gets the kind of response that ‘Fresh-Water will remain open in all bathrooms for ten minutes’ obtains. To this is to be added the fact that it is not as if each person on board has his own bathroom. The ratio is generally 10 to 20 persons per bathroom. Having the luxury of bath on board is therefore a race, not only against the other hopefuls but also against yourself, your needs and desires, and your skills that enable you to finish your bath before there is urgent knock at your bathroom door for having taken more time than was necessary for a “bride to get ready for her wedding“.

Thanks to Satnam, Jagtar’s family learnt how to bring Jagtar out of his indolence. But, they didn’t know that the Navy conditions your mind to such an extent that you find yourself at sea (lost) when you are on land. Jagtar was a changed man, unfit for everything except to be a sailor on board.

To learn more about how to wake up a determined sleeper on board, please read: Night Watch.

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