SPY VERSUS SPY

I was posted on Ganga  We returned from our cruise to Jeddah in Saudi Arabia (Read about an anecdote in Jeddah harbour in ‘Gunners Too Are Human – Part III – Gun Salutes’). Frankly, we had gone a wee-bit overboard in our purchases. We did well in our custom-clearance. The custom guys were ‘managed’ very well. Now all that stood between us having these items on board and us having them at home was the Security at the Lion Gate, Naval Dockyard, Bombay.

Once again, the lesser beings there were ‘managed’ very well but there was this Commander-at-Arms who was renowned to be the toughest egg in the entire Navy. It was rumoured that he used to have junior officers for breakfast after – as PGW would say – jumping over their remains with hobnailed shoes. To get past Cdr A was as tough as getting past Satan.

I had a friend on Ganga who was renowned for his resourcefulness. This friend on whilst going out of the Lion Gate smartly parked his vehicle on the side and went to meet Cdr A in his office. He paid his regards; Cdr A wasn’t amused. He talked about this and that: Cdr A wasn’t amused. Finally, my friend came straight to the point. He said he was a law-abiding citizen and would like to take out a few items with Cdr A’s permission.

Established in 1735 (Pic courtesy: indiannavy.nic.in)
Established in 1735 (Pic courtesy: indiannavy.nic.in)

Cdr A (brightening; as he had already seen in this an opportunity to chew my friend): When?

My Friend (fearfully): Er…if you permit…tomorrow, Sir.

Cdr A (eyes gleaming now): What kind of items?

My friend (alarmed now but he had reached point of no return): (Rattled out list of items) Cdr A (Visibly on top of the world now since rather than his catching the fish, the fish had come to him!): Don’t worry. Bring the items tomorrow and we shall see.

My friend saluted, dejectedly went to his vehicle and drove off.

Next day, at the appointed hour, he came to the Lion Gate and the entire Lion Gate Security Staff descended on his vehicle and ransacked it. All supervised by Cdr A smiling from ear to ear. To Cdr A’s utter horror and dejection, they found nothing.

At this stage, thoroughly frustrated at having missed a chance to get a Nao Sena Medal, Cdr A bellowed: But, you told me yesterday that you’d be taking out those items today.

My friend: I did Sir; but, knowing how you normally are, I didn’t take chances and took them out yesterday itself!

I could have given highest Gallantry Reward to my friend!

© 2013 – 2014, Sunbyanyname. All rights reserved.

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5 Comments

  1. This is my first visit to your blog and I must say that I am amazed by the style and humour. I found the right flavour of humour that motivates me towards blogging.

  2. Aha!
    What a coincidence! I too had a tyrst with a Cdr-at-arms at Lion Gate, Naval Dockyard Bombay–also a Cdr. A ! But that was in 1977, long before your kissa!
    [By the way, I am a course-mate of Adm Arun Prakash, and I retired in 1987.]
    On returning from a cruise to Kobe, Japan, on board INS SHAKTI, we were all “pleased as punch” for shopping “too- good-to-be-true” color TV sets– used, SANYO, SANSUI, etc TVs that we bought at the unbelievably cheap price of Rs. 100/-. As always, once one sailor spied a good deal, the entire ship’s company followed suit, and officers too fell for them!
    When the time came to deal with Lion Gate, they turned to me for some ‘divine intervention’!
    I met Cdr A at Lion Gate, and told him my predicament. (Cdr A and I had served together in an earlier appointment.) He said:” Whatever it is, the paperwork has to be pucca, Sir. My records have to be clean, you’d agree!”
    So I wrote in my declaration “Colourful Conversation-stopper, ONE, electronic, used. Value – Rs.100/. ” I was allowed through. The news got around, as I phoned the waiting fellows back on board about my chaal.
    So every officer and sailor wrote the same, and came through Lion Gate unscathed!
    The Cdr-at-arms must have laughed and said: “I wish everyone else can get wives at such a price!”